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I keep checking the timer. It feels like an hour has passed, but it has only been a minute. How do people do this? I wish I had Mark and John here to comfort me. I’m freaking out right now.
The test could be positive. It’s probably going to be positive. The signs are all there. I’ve just been ignoring them or writing them off as something else. Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel like an idiot. My boobs are slightly bigger, and my face feels puffier.
The alarm goes off, stopping my speculation. I take a deep breath and pick up the test.
There are two lines.
I’m pregnant.
I wait for the panic to settle in, but it doesn’t come. I’m scared and stressed, but a part of me is also happy.
This isn’t how I’d planned for my life to go. However, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. The idea of starting a family is exciting to me. Suddenly, I can’t wait to have this child.
My hands rest on my stomach. There’s a baby growing in there. It’s insane to think about. I try to picture myself with a huge, round belly, but I can’t.
It doesn’t matter. I won’t have to imagine it in a few months; it’ll be right there in the mirror.
This may have been an accident, but now that I know I’m pregnant, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m actually excited to be carrying Mark and John’s baby.
I gasp at the sudden realization – it’s not their baby. This child only belongs to one of them, technically. I wonder which one is the biological father. Should I try to find out? Will they want to know? How will this change our relationship?
I’m starting to freak out again. I try to steady my breathing, but it’s impossible. This whole situation is insane. What am I going to do? What are Mark and John going to do when they find out? Will they be happy or angry?
I can’t stand it if they’re upset. This baby is a happy surprise to me. I don’t want them to think otherwise.
The door to the suite opens. It’s not quite noon yet, so they’re back early. Thank goodness! I won’t have to wait much longer to find out their reactions.
I take a few deep breaths before I walk out of the bathroom. If they see me panicking, they’ll think something is wrong. I don’t know if anything is wrong yet, and I don’t want them to freak out prematurely.
“Hi,” I greet them. “How was your meeting?”
“Long and boring,” John says. “But it’s done and over with. I’m off the hook for my classes through Wednesday, and I’m confident the substitute lecturers will be competent enough to handle the coursework. I’ll have a ton to grade when we get back, but that’ll be fine.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
Mark kisses my cheek. “How was your morning?”
I take a deep breath. “Well, it’s been eventful, actually.”
The guys both give me a concerned look. “What do you mean by eventful? Is everything okay?”
“I think so. I guess I’ll find out in a second.” I pull the test out of my back pocket and hold it up to them. “I’m pregnant.”
Both men are completely silent. Their eyes are wide in astonishment.
“Please say something,” I whisper after nearly a minute of silence.
A tear slides down John’s cheek. “Oh, Mari! This is incredible!”
He pulls me into a hug and spins me around. I have to throw my arms around his neck to keep from falling.
“You’re happy? You think it’s a good thing?” I ask when he settles me down.
“Are you not happy?”
“I am!” I admit. “But I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it…”
“I’m stunned,” Mark admits. “But I’m happy, too. I’ve always wanted to be a father. I wasn’t sure if it would ever happen, though, because of my lifestyle. You’ve made me one of the happiest men on Earth!”
I bite my lip. This is what I was worried about. Does Mark think he’s the father? Is there a reason he thinks that? I’ve slept with both of them, with and without protection. Either one could be the father.
“What’s wrong?” John asks. “I thought you were happy?”
“I am, but I’m nervous, too.”
“About what?”
“One of you is the father.”
“Well, that’s good,” John jokes. “You’re not stepping out on us.”
“Of course not! You’re my only boyfriends. What I mean is, only one of you is the father, but I don’t know which one. I’ve been with you both, obviously…”
I’m starting to freak out again. I don’t want to hurt either of them. Will John be upset if Mark is the father? Will Mark leave if John is the father?
My brain is spiraling out of control. I’m glad they’re both happy, but how long will that happiness last if we find out who the baby’s biological father is?
