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He closed his eyes, trying not to let the terror and the pain he’d felt all those months ago take hold. “It was supposed to be a routine traffic stop. I pulled a vehicle over for speeding, thinking I’d write him or her a ticket and be on my way. Turned out the driver was a drug dealer who’d just come from meeting his supplier, and he had tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of marijuana and cocaine in his car. I didn’t even realize what I’d hit on before he pulled a gun on me.”
“You must’ve been so scared.”
“He shot me before I had time to draw my own gun and sped away. I was able to radio for help before I passed out.” He stroked his hands down Ellie’s back, trying to soothe the tension radiating from her. For him.
She held him tighter and kissed his chest. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine now.” But even as he said the words, he wasn’t entirely convinced of their truth. Not because of any lasting physical pain from the wound. No. Because of something much deeper and much more raw currently shredding his insides.
“Are the tattoos a happier story?” She yawned and nuzzled her face against him again.
“Yes and no. The sleeve and the oak tree are about how everything is connected, and that without one thing—the sun, say—the other parts—like the trees—couldn’t exist. I guess on a deeper level, a part of me believes that you have to trust that where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be. Because it’s all connected.”
“I like that idea.”
He didn’t miss the way her hands pressed harder into him, as if she were scared he were going to slip through her fingers.
And he was.
“What about the compass?”
He exhaled slowly, his eyes staring up at the dark ceiling. “It’s to remind me to listen to my heart. I haven’t always in the past, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes.”
She propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him, her fingers tracing over the compass. “What mistakes?”
He met her eyes. “I went through a really shitty divorce about two years ago. In hindsight, our marriage was never a great idea; there were so many red flags. I think I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what else to do besides go forward with it. I should’ve listened to myself. I should’ve trusted my heart.”
She chewed on her bottom lip, her brow furrowed as if she were working something out. “What does your heart tell you about us?”
“It’s telling me something it’s crazy to even think after only knowing you for less than a day. But I do know that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now. That, I can feel all the way to my bones.”
She sighed and settled back down against him, and for several long moments, neither of them spoke.
“Hey,” she whispered as a gust of wind rattled the window of the hotel room. “Don’t fall asleep. It can’t be over yet.”
“I’m not asleep. I’m still here.” He pulled her into him, holding her tight.
She pressed a kiss to his jaw, and he felt a tremble vibrate through her.
He stroked her hair until she fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter 7
Ellie kept her eyes screwed tightly shut, not wanting to acknowledge that it was morning. Not wanting to go home and somehow try to pretend that her world hadn’t shifted on its axis overnight. Ordinarily, there was something so hopeful about the way a new year stretched before her, like a field of fresh fallen snow. Untouched. Beautiful and pristine. Full of possibilities. Fresh and new. But not this year. She’d already epically screwed up the year of Ellie, because this new start didn’t feel fresh or promising at all. It felt sad and empty and cold.
She turned over in bed, her hand sliding over the covers and seeking out Matt’s hard, muscled warmth. Panic closed her throat when she only found empty air, and thinking he’d already left, her eyes flew open.
He stood at the window, peering through the heavy curtains, wearing only his boxer briefs. Bittersweet relief replaced the panic, and the sweet quickly outweighed the bitter at the smile lighting up his face.
Her stomach lurched and her heart fluttered—actually fluttered—as she looked at him, so gorgeous and happy. She felt like she was walking down a steep, rocky hill in towering high heels, trying desperately to only take in the view and not fall headfirst into something she couldn’t have. A plummeting sensation shot through her, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
No way could she feel this way about him after one night. Granted, it had been an incredible night, but still.
Mentally, she gave her head a shake. It was the sex. That was all. She wasn’t used to having such freaking fantastic sex.
“Morning,” she said, pushing herself up to sitting. His eyes dipped to her naked breasts, and blood rushed to her cheeks as she remembered the extensive attention he’d given them last night.
“Morning.” His wide smile stayed in place.
