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Rook paced behind me, cursing, hitting the side of his Browning against his temple as he muttered to himself, a low whine in his throat.
“Rook? Rook!” Grey was calling to him, trying to get his attention.
The vet put his fingers to her throat and cursed.
“What?”
“We’re losing her. She’s lost too much blood.”
“Well, do something!”
He peeled her eyelid back and tugged on her blue lip. “She’s not getting enough oxygen.”
Heat sizzled up through the balls of my feet as I pushed to standing, reaching over the vet to snatch Rook’s Browning from his hands and put it to the vet’s temple.
“Save her.”
He stilled.
“Darryl, so help me god, if you don’t start doing something useful, I will blow your goddamned head off.”
The vet dug in his kit, coming up with a portable defibrillator and an ambu bag. They rattled against the concrete in his rush to get it all apart, wiping down her chest to place the pads where they needed to be. He shoved the bag at Grey. “Put that over her mouth, start slow compressions on the bag. Even if I can re-start her heart, she needs air.”
My vision blurred, doubling, and I had to bend over my knees to keep from passing out.
Re-starther heart. Did I hear that right?
No.
“Stand clear.”
Grey removed his hands from the bag, and the vet initiated the shock. Her torso lurched. He felt for a pulse and cursed.
I put the gun back to the vet’s head. “Again.”
The vet shocked her again.
“It’s running out of juice!” he cried as Corvus shoved the barrel of the gun harder against the back of his head.
“Again!”
“Clear!”
Ghost’s body jerked against the stained concrete for the third time. The vet put his fingers under her chin and stared wild-eyed up at Corvus. “She’s gone, there’s nothing else—”
He pistol whipped Darryl, making his eyes go unfocused as he keeled over, but Corvus wasn’t about to let him go. He jerked him back upright. “You’re done when I fucking say you’re done!”
Grey muttered pleas over her body, begging her to come back while the vet set up for another shock with blood gushing from his nose.
I felt rooted to the spot. Like I was watching from some omniscient point of view as I lost the best part of myself.
My Ghost…
Gone.
I’d been fighting the depressive feelings of my withdrawal for days now, and I was getting through it becauseof her. But now?
Now I let them crash into me, break me apart from the inside. My eyes burned so hot it took me a minute to remember that this was what it felt like to cry. My chest caved in on itself and I sank to my knees under the weight of the stones I’d built up around my heart suffocating me. My heart bleated out an uneven rhythm and I bent, putting a hand to the cold concrete as my head spun from the lack of air.
