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I am not sure pink and frilly dresses would have been my thing, but who knows given the chance. Growing up dirt broke, didn’t allow for all the things a little girl might wish for. And even if we had any money, my parents wouldn’t have spent it on me anyway. Anything I ever got or wanted, was compliments of my brother’s hard work. But there still wasn’t a lot.
As I got older, for me it was all about the color black, Scooby-Doo, and gaming. But Embry and I did have one thing in common—our love of books. We both loved to read them, and I even wrote them. She just wouldn’t be reading any of mine for many years to come.
Maybe I should write a children’s book?
That was my last thought before Summer and Jurnee found me. Parking their butts on the floor where I sat, one on each side of me, they both threw an arm around my shoulders. Guilt over the drama, due to me keeping some big secrets from my best friends, plagued me. And knowing that this was Summer’s night and I had taken away from her special time, made me feel even worse.
It is all Landon’s fault.
I took all that sorrow and pain of the memories of what once had been, the feel of what his lips had felt like as he dominated my mouth, and his body so close to mine, and I did what I always had done.
I stuffed it down and buried it as if it had just been smothered by an avalanche of rocks. That’s where it needed to stay.
“Hey, babe, want to talk about it?” Summer asked as she bumped my shoulder with hers. Talking about it wouldn’t keep it buried, so no, I really didn’t. But I had kept so much from my two best friends, that the guilt I just mentioned was eating me alive. So I would give them a little.
“Not really, but I know I have been quiet about Landon and me, so I will say this. We once were something I thought looked just like what both of you have with Braxton and Gyth, but it hasn’t been that way for years.” Taking in a deep breath as I swallowed down the tears fighting to be set free again and pushing thewhyLandon and I couldn’t be deeper, I continued. “He and I were never meant to be, I just at one time thought it might be possible.”
Both girls gave me a squeeze but before either could say anything a different voice spoke from the doorway. And it sounded confused, pissed off, and angry.
This is not good.
“Why?” My eyes flew to where my brother stood at hearing the one word that had come from his mouth. Taking in his features, it was obvious he was trying to get control of himself, but I don’t think it was working, and when he spoke next, I was sure it hadn’t.
“All these fucking years, my sister and one of my good friends, felt the need to keep it from me that something was going on.” It wasn’t a question, so I just sat there feeling a little numb from all the emotions coursing through me as he continued, face red with anger and hurt.
Great, more guilt piled on.
That was just a smidge of what I was feeling, the rest was about to rock me to my core.
“Did he take advantage of you or hurt you?” he asked, but again didn’t let me talk as his voice grew louder and he kept on. “This is bullshit and I’m gonna—“ his words abruptly stopped when Jurnee jumped up, placing her hand in the middle of her husband's chest.
“You’re going to let your sister handle it. She is an adult now and can take care of herself, babe.” She rubbed circles on Braxton's chest as she spoke, and you could see my brother's facial features start to settle and his body begin to relax at her soothing. It was intimately sweet the way they were with each other.
I had that once upon a time.
“But she’s my baby sister,” he started again.
Standing now too, Summer also followed my lead and flanked me on one side. I looked my brother in the eyes as I moved in closer to him.
“I’m not a baby, Brax, and I wasn’t a baby then either. Let me handle my own shit. If or when I need your help, I have and will always ask,” I said to him.
That wasn’t entirely the truth, because there was a time when I needed him and didn’t let him know. Not him or my best friends. I had my reasons but the loneliness then and now when I think about that time in my life fills me with so much sorrow that the tough shield I put in place was so close to crumbling like a stack of dominos at any given moment.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had once and almost didn’t come back from it.
As I moved past him in the doorway, I touched his arm and gave him a small smile I didn’t truly feel but that he needed so he would hopefully move on from what he’d heard.Fat chance, I am sure.
“I’m fine, let it go, big brother. We have a party to get to and my girl behind me”—I started as I pointed over my shoulder at Summer—“she has a man outside waiting for her. A damn good man too.”
And with that, I exited the bedroom and headed back downstairs. Hopefully, when the rest of them followed, we could enjoy Summer and Gyth’s moment and carry on as we had been for years.
Stuffing it down was all I could do.
It was what I did well.
ChapterTwo
LANDON
