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“I got a call about an hour ago,” Braxton started, and I felt Landon’s hand rest on my leg. “Grandma and Grandpa had just shown up to say hi to the kids and they couldn’t have come at a better time and took them upstairs while I finished it and have been playing with them ever since.”
“Just tell me already, Braxton,” I said a bit agitated. I didn’t handle suspense well.
“Mom and Dad died tonight in a car accident,” my brother said, searching my face for my reaction.
I was more surprised that he had called them Mom and Dad, than the fact they had gotten in an accident. That may seem cold, but I always knew one day something even worse would come from their chronic alcohol and drug abuse.
I sat there frozen for a minute and then I asked, “Was anyone else hurt?” I knew deep down that they had caused it and they were probably on something. I was shocked it hadn’t happened before and always prayed that they wouldn’t hurt innocent people.
“No,” he responded, clearly catching on to the fact I knew that they had been using.
At some point when I was younger, I became aware they had been under the influence when we had been in the car with them when we were young. But as we got a bit older, they wanted nothing to do with us and would just leave us at home alone. It was a blessing because then Braxton and I were not in harm's way. But that didn’t mean thousands of others out there weren’t.
Landon was rubbing circles on my back in a soothing motion and Braxton continued.
“Dad wrapped their car around a tree and they both died instantly. They were completely inebriated, but I think you already knew that. They had my name listed on something in the car, so they found me to notify someone. I will take care of anything that needs to be done, you don’t need to worry about it.”
My brother was once again trying to shield and protect me from those two, but as he said earlier, I didn’t do too bad taking care of myself back then or at other times. It wasn’t until later that I didn’t handle things as great.
It was odd that the same day Braxton and I talked about our parents, something we rarely ever did, that they passed away.
“The guys already told me they will help with anything I need. I don’t want our parent’s shit touching you and your life, they did that enough when you were little,” my brother said.
At some point, Jurnee had sat down on her husband’s lap. “I can help,” she told him quietly.
Braxton was shaking his head. “Their crap doesn’t touch you either, baby.”
Nobody said another word about that, and it was settled.
“You okay?” Jurnee asked me softly.
“Yeah,” I told her.
And I was.
It may be a little sad to say, but there was no love loss. My parents didn’t love their children and we couldn’t love them after everything they had done. Or not done.
Their passing did one thing. I had always been worried about the kind of parent I would be because of the example the person who gave birth to me showed me growing up. But all she did was make it clear the type of person I would never be.
Because unlike her, I would be a mother to my child.
A goodmother.
* * *
I was exhaustedwhen we finally got home.
All I wanted to do was take a warm bath and then fall into bed.
Shuffling down the hall, Landon followed.
“You go on in, let me just drop these bags off and then I will be right there,” he said.
That was when it dawned on me that he had been working on something. I had been so sidetracked, that I almost forgot to ask about it.
“What was your surprise?”
“You can see it tomorrow. I need to finish a couple things.”
