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Zander swiped at the salty liquid on his face and jumped out of his seat to follow his friend. I believed the tears were a mix between knowing what he never had and happiness all rolled into one. He was working through stuff like the rest of us, so there were going to be times ahead when he got upset.
I knew I sure the hell had my own struggles I was trying to get through and needed to face. I looked over at Zander already tearing into his first gift and then my gaze locked with Brinley’s and she gave me a tentative, soft smile.
They were worth it.
ChapterTwenty
BRINLEY
Who knewa kid’s party could knock you on your ass.
I was exhausted, but it was a spectacular party and I had Rowan to thank for setting it up, as well as the ladies for helping out. Looking around the room at our new friends, the decorations, and the presents, I understood how my son had felt a short time ago.
Neither of us was used to the help, affection, or having others in our corner who would be there at the drop of a hat when needed. It was overwhelming at times, but it was such a blessing too. Now that Zander and I knew what it felt like I was scared.
I didn’t want to lose it all.
Was that how Zander felt too?
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t just the friends he and I had found in our new home. It was Rowan too. I didn’t want either of us to lose him now that we finally found him. The thought scared the crap out of me and I started to breathe rapidly, as panic started to seep in. We were getting in so deep and if Rowan was yanked from our lives we would never recover.
“Hey, girl. You okay?” Teal asked, placing her hand softly on my back, rubbing in a soothing, circular motion.
“Crud, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be cleaning up.”
“Forget about that and take a couple of deep breaths to clear the panic,” she said.
Doing as she said, I turned to look at her and her hand dropped from my back. “How did you know?”
“Honey, I’m the queen of panic attacks.”
I hated to hear that but knew she’d had a hard past. A hell of a lot worse than mine. What Teal had been through made my heart ache for her.
“I suffered from them all my life, but they increased in intensity and frequently after my mom died. When I first started working atNo Surrender,everyone had witnessed a few doozies and it wasn’t pretty. But my life has changed in exceptional ways and they have gotten so much better.”
She smiled at me and gave me another of her signature winks. “And a hot guy who worships me is icing on the cake. He has many ways to get my mind off the panic when it sets in.”
Not able to control the laughter that burst free, I almost choked.
“I’m telling you, this woman here has seriously come out of her shell,” Alley said, joining the two of us.
“Eavesdrop much?” Teal asked Alley.
“You know it. It’s one of my superpowers,” Alley sassed in return.
Teal stuck out her tongue at her friend.
Correction, atourfriend.
“See what I mean,” Alley said, looking at me and rolling her eyes.
“Hey, what is everyone doing over here? It’s not nice to leave us out of the private party,” Summer said.
Before I knew it, everyone was gathered around, Jurnee and Gemma too, and they were throwing a load of sass each other's way.
It was hilarious and my panic had disappeared.
While I knew it wouldn’t stay dormant forever at that point, with the help of my friends I could get through it.
