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“That and the fact that I love youmore than life,” she said. He had no words to reply to that, could only raise his hand to hers and squeeze her wrist in reply, closing his eyes and trying not to turn his face against her warm hand. “You know that?” she pressed.
“I know,” he said, still whispering. “I’m not angry. I just . . .” He exhaled. Shook his head. Couldn’t find words.
“Ah, my lad,” she said, the fond smile shining in her voice. “Children are a pox, you know. One day they’re little enough to drown in ten inches of water; the next, they’re all grown-up andtalland—ah, no, I can’t say anything more, or Lieutenant Hoskadem will tell the whole garrison that I’ve arrived irretrievably in my auntie phase and gone soft.”
Kadou huffed another small laugh and glanced over at Evemer across the room.
Evemer had his blank-stone-wall face on. He murmured stiffly, “Commander.”
“He’s offended,” Kadou said, giving Eozena a reproachful little pout. “You’ve cast aspersions on his honor. He wouldn’t disrespect you like that.”
“Terrible gossips, kahyalar,” she snorted. “I should know, I was just as bad about it, back in the days before I started having to be careful of all these state secrets.” She cast a cool look at Evemer. “No telling everyone I’ve gone soft.”
“Commander,” he said again. And then, to Kadou’s pleasure, he added, “His Highness is right, I wouldn’t.”
Eozena’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “My! Evemer Hoskadem, speaking full sentences! And they say the Mother of All only gave the world one thousand gifts. What a good influence you seem to be, Highness.”
Kadou ducked his head, demurring, but Eozena tipped his face back up. She narrowed her eyes at him, mock-stern but smiling. “Don’t you go around telling anyone I’m soft either, you hear me?”
He adopted an innocent expression, all wide eyes, and said, “Of course not, Auntie.”
“Ooh,nowyou’re going to get it, love.” She put her other hand to his face, slightly squishing his cheeks like he was a quarter of his age, and said, “What I was going to say about children being a pox is that you turn your back for five minutes and they get all grown-up and tall andhandsome—”
“Eozena,” Kadou said, muffled by her squishing hands as he reflexively pulled a little against her grip.
“—and they go around being terribly good and making youso proud—”
Kadou felt his face going hot and began pulling and wriggling harder, trying to escape.
“—all righteous, and brave, and solemn, and serious about duty . . .” Her voice had shifted into a croon. “Doing stupid things now and again to keep you on your toes, yes, making mistakes now and again—but otherwise asweet boywho has grown up into agood man—”
“Evemer, help,” Kadou whined.
“Don’t you move, Hoskadem, he brought this on himself—agood manwho tries so very hard and is so very easy to love—I saiddon’t move,Lieutenant.”
“Commander.” Evemer had come forward and set his hand on her forearm.
She harrumphed, smiling, and let Kadou go with a last little rub of her thumbs over his cheekbones. “Good lad, Hoskadem. Good priorities.” To Kadou, she said, “You were asking for that one, though.”
“I accept the consequences of my errors,” Kadou said—his face was still hot enough that he thought he must be scarlet down to his collarbones. He cleared his throat and glanced up at her. In the smallest whisper, he said, “Thank you.”
“For what? Saying things that are true?” That brought another wave of heat to his face. She laughed softly and took the half step necessary to kiss the top of his head. “Everything will be fine. But I really must run now, Highness, there are matters to attend to. I’ll be back later, undoubtedly.”
Evemer snapped to attention as she turned to the door, which she acknowledged with a nod.
Kadou watched her go, wishing that he could . . .do something. It seemed so terribly unfair that he should be so intimately involved in the situation yet be completely barred from affecting any of its outcomes.
He went to the divan by the open window and sat down with a sigh he tried to keep silent. The window looked out over the sprawling gardens of the Gold Court, and the early evening air carried the scents of cypress and cedar and a hundred kinds of flowers.
He didn’t know why he’d expected anything different. Of course it was more important for him to . . . justsit here. Waiting. Hands empty and useless.
“Highness,” Evemer said suddenly.
Kadou half turned. “Yes?”
“Ought I to have stepped in earlier?”
“What, with Eozena? No, she’s—she’s allowed to do that.” She wouldn’t have done that in front of just anyone—even in front of Evemer, she’d hesitated before . . . saying those things.
