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“Right,” said Eozena.
“It was a very clever ruse,” said Evemer. Kadou bit his cheek and still could not bring himself to look at anyone.
“I’m sure it was. Ah, Lieutenant, His Highness looks rather feverish. Would you mind fetching him a damp cloth?”
Evemer paused for . . . longer than he should have. “Yes, Commander,” he said.
As soon as the door shut behind Evemer, Eozena turned back. “Kadou.”
“I apologized right away,” he said. “Abjectly! He was very blasé about it, in that way he has. Utterly unflappable, that man. He simply cannot be flapped by anything or anyone, and—yes, I know! I know! But it really was the only thing I could think of, and I really did apologize, and he really did say it was all right! I said it several times, and so did he! We just stood there taking turns sayingI’m sorryandIt’s fine.”
Eozena steepled her fingers together. “Do you see,” she said slowly, “how that might not entirely reassure me?”
“Only if you don’t trust either of us to be at all competent. Do you think Evemer would say that it wasn’t necessary for me to apologize, if it really was? If he’d been unsettled or unwilling, he would have saidHighnessand nothing else. Or he would have accepted my apology. He turned it down! More than once!”
“Hmm,” said Eozena forbiddingly. “Be careful. You’ve already mishandled the situation with your armsman.”
“I know,” he said miserably, rubbing his hands over his burning face. “I talked to him about that earlier this evening too.” Her eyebrow quirked in surprise. “I said sorry, and I made things clear to him, and we yelled at each other a bit and started making up. I’m saying sorry to everyone today. All over the place. Right and left. Eozena, I’mtrying.”
She sighed. “You do see that’s not the end of the work, right? There’s a lot more you have to do to have a hope of repairing your relationship with him. He won’t be able to continue as your personal secretary if it makes him miserable just to see your face.”
“Yes, I know.” He put his hands over his face. “I shouldn’t have avoided him. I need to—to ask him for help more.”
“Tell me your reasoning.”
“He needs to feel like I trust him. I need to see him being my armsman, and both of us need to figure out what that means for him, and for me. And—and we need to practice having that sort of relationship again. He needs to feel like he has a . . . nobler purpose.”
He peeked out between his fingers at her. She looked at him for a long time, eyes still narrowed, then nodded once. “All right. Good enough to be going on with.”
Evemer tapped on the door and let himself back in. “Highness,” he said, and handed Kadou a cool, damp cloth.
“Thank you,” Kadou said, pressing it against his inner wrists and the sides of his neck. It was actually quite a relief, and it did more to soothe his nerves than he’d expected. “Would you tell Eozena you’re not traumatized?”
“I’m not traumatized, Commander,” Evemer said.
Eozena put her palm to her face. “Fine. Fine. Kadou . . . I trust you’ll not do that again.”
“He can’t promise that,” Evemer said smoothly. “He might have to do it again.”
“Like hell he will,” she said.
“Commander,” said Evemer.
“If it helps, I’m going to try really hard not to do it again,” Kadou said, pushing himself to sit up. “It was a very stupid ruse. It was all I could think of.”
“I suppose it doesn’t matter whether youtryor not, because—look, you don’t need to be doing this anymore. Stay here in the palace, please, where it’s safe. You’ve had your fun, Kadou,” she said. “I’m serious. You wanted to help, and you’ve helped. You found something important, and there are people better equipped to handle it than you are.”
“But I’m the one who’sbeenhandling it.” His hands were in his lap, and he was holding the damp cloth so tightly that water was dripping out onto the knees of his kaftan.
Eozena sighed. “You’re not supposed to be running around—”
“What? Being useful?” Kadou said sharply. “Better I just stay here and read the reports as they come in?”
“Yes, actually. What happens if you get hurt? Seriously: What happens? I’m not a common kahya anymore, Your Highness, I’m the commander of the guard. I’m entitled to make certain executive decisions about the safety of the royal family. In cases of truly mortal danger—for example, the incident last month—I am allowed to, at my most serious and solemn discretion,disregard ordersin the pursuit of keeping you from harm. So what happens if you get caught up in something bigger than you? What happens if you’re captured, or killed? What happens to me?”
“Zeliha already gave me permission.”
“What would happen to me?”
