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“For what?”
Tadek dropped his eyes, picked at a loose thread on the quilt by Evemer’s knees. “I wouldn’t have minded dying for him. Part of me is disappointed that I didn’t. I would have felt it an honor.”
Evemer stared at him. He took a breath. He set aside his teacup and leaned forward as much as he could without disturbing His Highness. “Don’t you dare speak those words again in front of him,” he hissed.
“He’s asleep.”
“I don’t care. You don’t say that where he can hear.”
“So you’re saying Iammad, then.”
“Go to the temple and ask to be unburdened.”
“It’s only a part of me that’s disappointed,” Tadek murmured, as if that were a reasonable argument. “I don’twantto die. I certainly don’t want to do it myself. Weren’t you a little disappointed when he stopped you from cutting your hand off? It would have been so . . .” He gestured grandly. “Romantic, in the sense of epic poetry. Noble and heroic and—”
Damn Tadek, damn him. “You don’t care about things like that.”
“Darling,” Tadek said, putting one hand to his chest in feigned astonishment. “Why else do you think I spent all my educational stipend on soppy plays?”
Evemer had no answer for that. “Go ask for an unburdening.”
“Yes, yes, I know. I just . . .” He tapped his fingers on the blanket. “I wanted to do something that mattered, that’s all.”
“You think dying could have been it.”
“Yes. It could have.”
“Have you spared a thought for what it would have done to him?” Tadek didn’t answer. “He wouldn’t appreciate it the way you intended.” Evemer very much would have liked to stalk out of the room then, no matter how haughty it would have made him look. He contented himself with sitting back against the head-board again and primly taking up his tea. When Tadek continued to say nothing, entirely failing to make any kind of smarmy comment that Evemer could have brushed off, he couldn’t help but add, “You would have broken his heart.”
“I don’t have his heart,” Tadek said simply. “So I can’t break it.” A heavy silence filled the room, stretching on and on until Tadek added, “I never had it, actually—at least, I don’t think I did. If I’d asked for it, he probably would have given it to me. But I didn’t ask.” He didn’t sound sad about it, exactly, just . . . thoughtful. After another handful of moments he smiled brightly. “All for the best, really. I’m not the sort to be trusted with a heart anyway. What do you do with one? Buy a pretty box to keep it in, I suppose, and then what?”
Kadou shifted. Evemer and Tadek both froze, watching him.
When nothing else happened, Tadek murmured, “Well, it’s all moot. No point in philosophizing about it.”
Kadou had a few strands of hair stuck in the corner of his mouth. Evemer set aside his empty teacup again and carefully picked the strands free. Kadou shifted again, sighed. His lower lip looked very soft.
Evemer turned away. He’d already decided not to think about that.
Tadek was watching him with steady eyes that said as clear as text on a page that he’d seen it.
Evemer wantedbadlyto excuse himself. Surely his mother needed him for something—there would be breakfast to prepare for all the people in the house, and tasks to be done for her. He hadn’t visited in weeks, surely there would be a list as long as his arm—
“More tea?” Tadek whispered politely, not taking his eyes off Evemer’s face.
“Yes. Thank you.”
Tadek got to his feet with a grimace and a hand on his side, letting his breath out in a slow, controlled hiss. He filled Evemer’s cup again and set it and the teapot on the nightstand. “I won’t tell,” he said quietly.
“There isn’t anything to tell.”
Tadek gave him a look.
“His Highness and I aren’t—”
“I meant,” Tadek said, lowering his voice even further, “that I won’t tellhim.”
“Nothing to tell,” Evemer said carefully.
