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"No, that's a lie. I've been better, but I'm getting better. One day at a time." She stepped back from his hug and took a deep breath, like she was steeling herself to talk to him.
He remembered the days when they'd run around the set together, laughing and playing, sharing secrets and pulling pranks on each other, even being each other's official first kiss. How had they gotten from that to this?
"I'm sorry to ambush you, but after you wouldn't talk to your agent, I figured the odds were even worse that you'd take a phone call from me."
The reunion show. Of course. She wasn't here to catch up or reminisce about old times. She had only come to find him because she wanted something from him. Typical. "How did you know I would be here?"
"I didn't. A friend of a friend was coming and I begged my way into being her plus-one in hopes that you would be here. And here you are."
"Here I am." Jake sipped his champagne and wondered if Frankie was okay. His palms had itched to pull her into a hug, but he couldn't in front of all these business colleagues. He scanned the wall of windows that opened onto the deck, hoping for a glimpse of red that would reassure him.
"This was a mistake." The quiet words held a wealth of disappointment. Britt's eyes glittered with sadness and something darker. Shame? Guilt? Resignation?
"Britt…"
His use of her nickname seemed to straighten her spine.
"No, you don't get to call me that if you can't even hear me out. Out of everyone, I expected you would understand. We were friends once."
They had been closer than friends. They'd been the sibling stand-in for each other, growing up together under the watchful eye of millions. And losing her had hurt like hell. He had no desire to revisit those memories. "I just think it's time to move on."
"What do you think I'm trying to do? I did what you did and transitioned to older roles. I'd aged out of cute little sister parts, even though I was still technically a kid, so they sexed me up and threw me to the wolves. And my big brother wouldn't even talk to me anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
But Brittani was on a roll, anger pushing her past the sadness. "You know what that world was like. I saw you at the parties, even when you gave me the cold shoulder."
Jake was stunned by that comment. It had been the other way around. His show family had disappeared on him just when he'd needed them most. What was she talking about?
Brittani pressed on. "The booze, the drugs, the men who don't care that you're sixteen and high as a kite. I lost everything that mattered, so I leaned into the things that could make me forget. It seemed easier than fighting my way back to a world that didn't love me."
"Britt, I had no idea. Why didn't you talk to me?"
"When exactly was I supposed to do that? When you never showed up at Martin's barbecues? Or when you wouldn't take my phone calls? Oh I know, maybe I should have talked to you on the reunion shows you refused to do."
Jake was reeling. Her words punched him in the solar plexus and left him gasping. Years of pain and abandonment issues pressed on his chest, making it hard to breathe. "What? There weren't— No one ever called— What?"
She was looking at him like he was crazy but he didn't care. When the show had ended, everyone had said all the things people say at the wrap party.
Let's do lunch.
I'll call you.
Can't wait to work with you again.
But none of those things actually happened. None of it had been real. To find out they had been meeting all these years without him cut to the quick.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Brittani asked carefully.
Jake just shook his head, still unable to breathe properly, let alone speak.
"How could you not know?"
When Jake had left that set, it had been worse than any breakup. It had felt like he was the sole survivor of a car crash. He hadn't just lost a girlfriend; he'd lost his entire extended family in one fell swoop. The people who had been closer to him than his own screwed-up family, just…poof, gone. But in a way it was worse than a car crash, because no one was dead. They'd chosen not to love him anymore. Unlike the fairy-tale life he'd led on-screen, when this story reached the end he'd been back where he started with his washed-up alcoholic of a father and his hyper-controlling, ambitious mother.
That's when it clicked. His mother. She'd had every reason to want to isolate him and keep him dependent on her. She'd pulled his strings personally and professionally for years for her own gain. He coughed to clear his throat of the lump that had lodged there.So much lost time.
"I swear, I didn't know about any of that stuff. I thought…I thought you guys had abandoned me. I missed you so damn much. That's why I didn't want to do a reunion. It would have hurt too much to see you and then lose you all again. But I'd bet money on my mother being the one running interference. God, I wish I had known."
