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My body aches so wonderfully.I curse myself for opening my senses to something I know I can't have, but then again, Zeus was right when he said that it was one of the greatest gifts our lord has given us. We stay in bed for most of the night and early into the next day.
When we do decide to get out of the bed, he has to help me clean up the rooms that he's ransacked, mostly because my legs can barely keep me up. I think it's all very embarrassing, but every time I wobble, Zeus gets this big, proud grin on his face.
I end up just sitting down and letting him do all the work before the night is over. Once we have finished all the work and the snow has calm down enough for it to be drivable, I know it's time that I bid him farewell. It was more than a good time for me, but I know he has a life outside here that he has to get back to, and I truly need to pray on if I really want to stay a sister or if I'm going to give up this journey.
"I don't have a cell phone, so I'll have to call you."
"Email, snail mail?" Zeus asks as he stands at the door with an armful of paper files.
"You can try the snail mail, but I wouldn't put it past Mother Superior to open it up without my say so. It's not like I get mail very often. Trust me to call you." I tell him, and he scowls, looking so very upset that he's having to resort to waiting for me to make the next move.
"I do trust you, Inessa. I just don't know if I can wait that long." He shakes off the pout on his face before he starts talking again, trying to be a little macho. " Look, I'm still here for a little while longer. I'll try to sneak by again tomorrow afternoon, say one. If you can get out, meet me in the back courtyard?" He asks, and I smile at the romantic nature of it. A stolen moment right under Mother Superior's nose.
"Yes." I reply, even though I know that I should say no.
"I can't wait." He leans in and kisses me again. The thrill of his lips on mine never gets old. He deeps the kiss and I have to push him away before he moves on. Father Joseph and the rest of the congregation should be on their way back already. The last thing I need is for them to see me necking with some man at the door.
"Go on before you get us caught." I smile at him and gives me one back.
"Don't stand me up, Inessa, I'll knock on this door and ask for a penance only you can give if I don't see you." He threatens, and my mouth drops open in shock. I can just see the rest of the sisters faces if he were to come to the door asking for me. The scandal.
"Don't you dare!" I hiss at him.
He laughs loud before he turns and walks toward his truck, which he says is hidden behind one of the trees that line the front yard. I hear it starting up, and it's only when I watch him slowly drive away that I close the door.
I thought it would feel like I was closing the door on any possibility of him and me being together, but instead it's the opposite. Closing the door only makes me want to rip it back open. I feel suffocated in the large convent now. The same place that I once found some peace and purpose feels like a noose around my neck now. How can I stay here, feeling like this for the rest of my life? I may not have a place with Zeus in the real world, but I know for sure that my place isn't here either. I can worship the lord a different way.
I only hope I'm strong enough not to fall too far into the deep end.
* * *
That night,after everything is cleaned up, and I'm finally able to get some rest without Zeus in the bed with me, I wake up to the sound of cars pulling up in the driveway. I'm certain that no one will be able to tell the difference in their rooms, and I'm actually excited to see the sisters again. Even with Zeus here the couple of days, I've been pretty lonely.
The sister walk in first, all of them excited to let me know about the wonderful experiences that they went through at the fair. I listen aptly and tell them how wonderful it is that they had a good time. When the door opens again, I see Mother Superior walk in and behind her is Father Joseph and a man I don't know. The man is in a dark suit and sunglasses. It's the dead of night, what does he need sunglasses for.
"I'm sure there's nothing to report?" Mother Superior stops in front of me, while Father Joseph and the man skip by me completely.
"Hm... Oh yes, Mother superior, everything was fine. Who is that man?" I ask her.
She lets out a deep sigh and shakes her head, "Someone who requires penance." she replies, and I wonder if Father Joseph is going to have a private counseling. That is something that would make sense for him to be here at this time of night. Perhaps he's grieving and that's why he's still wearing the sunglasses. All of it sounds feasible, but none of it feels right. When I hear the door to the basement opening, my panic begins to rise.
Oh lord, is he of the people that Father Joseph is working with to steal people from their loved ones.
Fear sprouts in my mind as I watch the rest of the sister make their way back to their rooms. It was past lights out and most of them will be sleeping soon. I turn away from Mother Superior and all but speed walk to my room as well. I think back on what Zeus and I saw down there. The radioactive suitcase. The box.
"Oh dear God!" I cry softly and put a hand to my mouth.
Zeus emptied the box of all the paperwork and took it with him. If they do down there looking for it, they're going to know that someone was in it. I have no idea if they'll be able to tell it was me, but I can't let anyone else take the blame for it.
All the options I have run through my mind, but nothing proves viable until it's too late.
Mother superior comes to my room, opening my door without knocking. Her face is pale, and I can see her fingers rolling through the beads of her rosary. Praying to the lord for help, I'm sure.
"Yes?" I ask, trying to make it seem like I'm unaware of what she wants.
"Father Joseph would like to speak with you for a moment in the study." She says, and I try to remember if I put the whiskey back where I found it. I'm sure I did, but maybe he remembered how much he had in the bottle.
I follow behind Mother Superior to the study and in the room I see both Father Joseph looking just as pale as mother superior and the other man.
