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“Bex…what…why would you even worry about that?” He seemed genuinely confused.
Not ready to voice the petulant feelings still tugging at my chest, I crossed my arms.
“They were just fans…persistent fans, but fans just the same. I don’t understand why that would bother you.” His blustered gaze fixed on my eyes swore he was being honest, which shifted something in me.
Letting the tension in my shoulders drop, I leaned forward until my forehead was pressing against his. His hands went around, roaming up my back.
“I’m not used to this,” I whispered, knowing he needed more based on his confusion. “I was jealous. It felt like you didn’t even know we were there…even Cole picked up on it.”
A sound of remorse and frustration left his chest as he lowered his head to my lap.
I tangled my hands into his hair, letting out a few more truths.
“I feel stupid because I know we aren’t really dating, but…”
Ryan’s head whipped up, brazen eyes staring back at me. That look—it was like the man I had left ten years ago had just reached through and grabbed a hold of me, terrified I’d run again.
“I thought we talked about that.”
My hands were still tucked into his hair while his face was merely inches from mine, our heavy breaths mingling.
“We talked about seeing what this was…and I asked if you’d date me.”
I put a little space between us by leaning back. “No, you asked me onadate. We have yet to go on that date…”
It wasn’t that I didn’t love us going out with the kids, but I hadn’t been sexy at any point and we hadn’t been alone.
A long-suffering sigh met my lips as Ryan lowered his gaze. “I’m planning it, I just…I love spending time with all of you, but let me be clear.” He rose on his knees, gaining height, pushing me into the mattress. “Our past is too thick for us to be casual. I may have hinted at a date when we were camping, but what I meant was that I wanted you to be mine.” He moved over me, wedging his jean-clad knee between my legs.
My heartbeat picked up speed as his scent surrounded me.
“Back to the issue with the fans…” His stern glare froze me in place as his hands worked to lift my shirt over my head. “You mentioned wanting to be discreet, which means I won’t bring attention to you or the kids—but say the word and you’ll be the topic of tomorrow’s evening gossip networks. I didn’t give a fuck about those girls, but I was trying to keep the attention off of you and the kids.”
Fevered lips pressed against my throat as I felt a low sizzling fire start in my chest, quickly moving south.
Tears pricked my eyes as I considered how sweet his motives were and how I’d just left, not giving him a chance to explain.Again.
Fuck, I needed to stop this pattern.
Grabbing hold of his neck, I pulled him down far enough that I could see his face and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve for me to react like that.” Shame simmered close to the surface, threatening to suffocate me.
“We have some work to do on this trust thing…I have a lot to make up for from when you were last vulnerable with me.” He stroked my hair back, tracing my bottom lip before claiming it with his mouth.
We did have a way to go…I hated that the rejection he’d served that night all those years ago still stung so much. It constantly made me want to hide in a dark corner, away from the possibility of getting hurt. It was so much easier to control the situation and protect myself.
Letting go of the fears that bombarded me on a regular basis when Ryan was this close, I threw my arms around his neck and allowed lust to take the lead.
His lips seared mine, slanting and dragging along my jaw and neck. Gripping my hips, he lifted me higher onto the bed. His grip was a reminder that he wasn’t letting go, that this was a serious moment, not to be mistaken for a fling or a passing night of passion.
I allowed the thought to take root and leaned back, cupping my breasts while watching his half-lidded eyes turn heavy and resolute.
He was a predator about to demolish his prey.
His strong fingers tangled in the waistband of my sweats and pulled them down with barely restrained force, his hungry gaze landing on the tiny scrap of pink fabric between my legs.
“Can I have you tonight, Bex?” He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my pubic bone, over the cotton fabric.
