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33
I staredat the red door and willed it to disappear. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Gloria—on the contrary, in fact—but it was so much more difficult when she was so closely tied to Ryan. She’d reached out to me through a random phone call, asking if I wanted to come have coffee with her. She’d even invited the kids. At first, I had wanted to dodge the call, ignore her like I had dodged her existence when I moved to Oregon, but I couldn’t keep living like that.
I looked down, thinking over all the horrid things Ryan had probably told them, and heaved a sigh. He may not have said a single word, and Gloria Prince was a kind woman, always had been. So, I owed it to her to ring the doorbell and at least see how she felt about me.
Pressing my thumb to the round button, I stepped back and waited for her to answer. I could hear her two dogs barking in unison, running closer and closer to the door until it finally swung open.
“Bexley!” Gloria beamed and pulled me into her arms without a second thought.
Something inside broke and shattered as she clung tightly to me. It was what I’d always imagined it would be like to have a mother hold me on the bad days, one to run to when I didn’t know what to do. Ryan must have loved having these arms when his life got scary.
“I’m so glad you came!”
Wrapping her arm around my shoulders, she pulled me further into the house until we were making our way toward the back patio. She had several outdoor benches and deep cushioned chairs set up around a slate fireplace. Large umbrellas stretched out, providing shade as the glittering lake splashed gently at the edge of her back yard.
“Here, let me get you some coffee.” She walked over to a coffee bar and began talking a mile a minute about the beans and when she’d visited Costa Rica the year before and how she’d learned so much about fair trade coffee and how important it was to her to start thinking harder about her purchases.
I listened easily as she regaled me about her travels and jokes about Gary in different jungle-type environments, but not once did she bring up Ryan or ask about our breakup. Or, for that matter, Shelly Cambria.
Finally, I’d had enough.
“Gloria, why won’t you ask me about Shelly and Ryan?”
Her soft blue eyes searched my face as she tipped her white mug back. Setting it down on the side table next to her, she let out a heavy sigh.
“I knew that stunt was fake. I remember Ryan telling me about that snake of a woman. What I’m more interested in knowing is why you allowed it.” She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, gently gripping my hand as if to reassure me.
Words tangled in my mind, defensiveness rising and falling like a crescendo in my heart…but none of those words mattered. This was his mother, the woman who’d carried him, raised him, who knew him better than anyone else on the planet, except for maybe his father. There was no use in mincing words with her.
“Because he needed to do it for his career, and while I was willing to support him the best I knew how, he actually broke it off with me.” It hurt like hell to say those words, to swallow down my own pain and how much it hurt to see him on those magazine covers kissing another woman while I shopped with my kids, how I had to live with that reality when he’d willingly left me.
How my kids hadn’t seen anything about it yet, I had no idea…but it was only a matter of time before everything blew up in their tiny little faces. I hadn’t protected them the way I should.
“Oh honey.” Gloria leaned forward until she was hugging me.
Again, like it had the first time, it completely wrecked me. I could feel my throat throb in pain as I held back tears, until I finally couldn’t bear it.
“No one ever talks about that part of love, how imperfect and painful it is, how necessary it is to fully love and appreciate someone.” She rubbed soothing circles into my back as tears fell down my face, pooling at the tip of my nose and crashing to her shoulder. “Sweet girl, you’re worthy of that same sacrifice, that same devotion. You deserve someone to love you like that, and if my son isn’t the one to do it, you need to hold your chin high until you find the one who can.” Gloria leaned back and rubbed the wetness from under my lashes, locking her gentle gaze on mine.
I didn’t have words. No one had ever cared for me or said anything like that to me besides Shay, and sometimes I didn’t listen because I wasn’t sure if she’d picked it up from some inspirational tweet or Photogram picture.
“You can demand that he picks you. You can choose you and your kids and expect that he does too…that’s okay, and after ten years of having his dream, I think it’s high time he realizes he’s about to lose the only one that ever really mattered to him.”
I felt more sobs and hiccups erupt from my chest. It was like my heart was having a come-to-Jesus moment with my soul and there was no redemption in sight. I wept and wept into her arms as she rocked me and allowed me to be broken.
I had never considered that I was worthy of being chosen first, regardless of how much I wanted it and even though I’d left Ryan for it. I’d never actually believed it about myself. Even while I had worked for my design degree, Logan had worked his own job, still expecting me to be a mother and girlfriend while I studied and went to school. I was never looked in the eye and told I was important, told I counted just as much as they did, and now, for the first time in my life, I realized I desperately needed someone who would tell me that.
Two hours later, after I had collected myself enough to have an actual conversation with Gloria, we ate lunch and gossiped about nothing and everything. When I was about to go, she grabbed me in a tight hug one last time.
“I can’t force you to do this, but Gary and I would like the chance to get to know your kids…and you. You all live here, and whether or not my son fixes this, you’re important to us, and we want you to come see us. Bring the kids, let them have fun here…we’re here for you, Bexley.”
I cried again as I nodded my agreement and then drove home with the biggest smile on my face. Maybe it was possible to be happy and full without being in a relationship. For the first time in a really long time, I had hope that I’d be okay.
* * *
Over the next several weeks,our weekends were spent at Gloria and Gary’s. The kids quickly fell in love with fishing on the lake. I sat with Gloria while she fixed different meals, watching how effortless it was for her to dice and chop and throw different ingredients together, like it was second nature. I took notes, helped prep food as often as possible, and then of course by the end of the evening, we’d enjoy a meal together.
Gary would walk with me along the lake discussing his latest conspiracy theories, throwing me into hysterics and making me feel happier and brighter than I had in years. They became like parents to me, real people who loved me and cared for me, and they both adored my children.
Logan’s parents lived in Chicago, so they didn’t see the kids often unless they were visiting their son. In all their years alive, my kids had only physically seen their Grandpa and Grandma Woods a total of three times, and they weren’t keen on FaceTime or video usage, unlike the Princes. Even throughout the week, they would get on video chat with the kids, asking about their weeks and how school was going.
When fall sports started and I told them Cole was in baseball, I wasn’t surprised to see them both at the game that first week. They never made a scene and always wore sunglasses or hats in case they were recognized, but they never were.
Their presence both soothed and burned as the weeks went by without word from Ryan. I had no idea if he had contacted his parents or if he was ghosting them as well, but we never talked about him. I was so close and yet so far away from him and I had no idea if it bothered him that we were now adopting his parents, but Gloria and Gary had asked us to be in their lives. I couldn’t find it in me to deny them that, especially knowing they were lonely without their son, lonely with few friends they could trust now that the world knew who their son was.
We were helping each other through this, and I couldn’t find it in me to regret that. I just hoped Ryan knew how precious they were and how difficult it would be for all of us if he demanded that we stop.
