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Her hand flew up. “Don’t!”
Carl’s bushy eyebrows caved as his posture deflated. Fucker probably knew what was coming. The whole town was already gossiping about our breakup; wouldn’t take much to connect the dots.
“How could you?” she rasped, her fists clenched tight at her sides. “How could you give me that note? How could you crush me that way?”
Carl’s head lowered, his hands slowly sinking to the counters.
Rae continued on. “You, of all people, knew how much I loved him. You knew how badly it would hurt me to see him there, especially after thinking he finally saw me!” She was shaking, her voice trembling, and fuck, it felt like her words had grown talons and were suddenly tearing at my chest.
I had an idea of how she had felt for me. Obviously back then I had chalked it up to teenage obsession. I thought she’d outgrow it, but I had no idea why she’d been in that library. Truthfully, she likelywouldhave outgrown her crush once she matured, but Carl forced the pain, so it stuck with her forever.
“I just wanted you to be over him. You were finally old enough to actually be interested in him, and it—” Carl hesitated. “It scared me.”
“Why?” Rae yelled, slamming her hand down on the counter. “Why did it scare you, and how the fuck did you even know he’d be there with…” She trailed off, her voice shaking.
If I had walked in on Rae fucking someone else, it would kill me. Straight up remove my ability to breathe and exist, and if I had to replay that image for any length of time… Jesus, I had no idea she’d been carrying that for so long, but it finally made sense why she hated me so much when she met me for what I had assumed was the first time.
Carl shook his head. “At the time, I was dating Pam. She was the librarian. A few days leading up to that night, she’d let it slip that she’d be off early because Davis would be there working late. Then she’d dropped that she hoped he didn’t meet up with anyone because he’d apparently done it before. The boy had built a bit of a reputation for having company while working late on city projects. Honestly, I just took a shot that he wouldn’t be alone.”
Rae shifted on her feet, her arms now crossed over her chest.
“So, there was a fifty-fifty chance that I’d go, and he would have been alone?”
What would have happened if I had been?
Nothing. Back then, she was a kid to me, I would have asked her to leave. But Carl didn’t even know me. How did he know Rae wouldn’t have been hurt, or worse? What a fucking prick.
“Guess I was right about him being a player, since he broke your heart,” Carl snidely remarked, tossing his rag.
Rae’s jaw set, and her lip wobbled. “You broke my heart, Carl. Not him. He had no way of knowing, and it was completely unfair that someone intruded on his privacy. All these years, I assumed he’d just sent that note to hurt me—to be cruel. Turns out, you were the only cruel one in the scenario.”
Taking a steadying breath, she moved her hands and declared, “I want nothing to do with you.”
Carl surged forward, worry etched into his features. “You don’t mean that…”
She stepped back, and a fierce protectiveness swept through me. If he tried to touch her at all, even to give her a hug…
“I love him, Carl…with all my heart, and I was going to have a future with him. That’s not happening now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t have people in my life who don’t support my choices.”
With one last look at the man, Rae turned to leave, while I ducked further into the shadows.
I waited there long enough to let her words sink in. It was slow, like a block of cement. Her saying our future wasn’t happening now…it fucked with my head. I still wanted one with her. Still, her lie and the fact that I had nearly gutted myself to be vulnerable with her…it hurt.
I loved Rae. To my very marrow, I did—but I didn’t know if I could trust her. Even getting over that she was worried how I’d respond, assuming I had given her that note, how could she still have thought that after being with me? After hearing something so deep and personal to me, how could she assume that I—
Well fuck, I guess in the end, I responded exactly how she feared.
Wasn’t that some shit?
Shaking my head, I waited to ensure she was gone before pushing through the back doors and inhaling the cold October air.
36
DAVIS
Three daysafter Rae had confronted Carl, I started to lose my mind.
I thought it would make me feel better if I confronted the asshole who had put Rae leaving into motion, but then that moment was stolen by my little spitfire, who wasn’t exactly mine anymore, and that’s what kept swirling around in my head.
