AllFreeNovel
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“Why not?” I lean in and nibble on the corner of her stubborn jaw. “I have feelings for you. And I sure as shit never admitted that before in my life.”
“So because you—”
“Shh.” I feather another kiss to her jaw. But I come closer to her lips. Closer. Closer. “I’ve never had feelings for a woman before. Not like this. And I don’t know if what I feel is reflux, or if it’s something a little more than that. But I’m right here, Minka. Waiting for you to stop being so fucking proud.”
I pull her face up and wait for her eyes to flicker open. “Whatever it is, it scares me. Because before I met you, life was pretty fucking simple. I woke up, I went to work, I hung out with Fletch or Tim or a lady friend.”
Her eyes narrow to dangerous slits.
“It was superficial and forgettable. But now you’re here, and you’ve got me hooked into this abusive cycle of intrigue and wonder and fear andwhy the hell isn’t she talking to me?”
“You sound emotional and needy.”
I choke out a fast laugh. “For the first time in my fucking life. So then I decide to feel something, and then I find out you’re fragile.”
“I’m not fragile.”
“You are!” I hold her tighter, but not so tight I’ll leave a mark. “You’re so fucking fragile. And it’s worse, because you wanna be strong. You step in and kill a killer, Mayet! You put yourself in a position where you would have died if he’d taken his shot. And you didn’t have to do that.”
I surge forward and kiss her quivering lips. I had no clue they were shaking until mine touch down. “You’re fragile, but you wanna be everyone’s champion. So then I fucking worry. Because one freak accident, one fall, one run-in with the wrong person, and I lose you.”
“I’m a grown woman.” She breaks our kiss and clamors for air. “I’m grown and capable and strong. You have no reason to worry about me any more than you would worry about anyone else.”
“But that’s a fucking lie. Because if Fletch gets hit by a car, it’s gonna mess him up, but there’s a good chance he’ll live. If you’re clipped by a fucking bicycle and you bleed in your gut, you’re gone, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”
“This sounds a whole lot like fear of commitment,” she breathes out. “But you use my medical condition as an excuse. And you use it to the extreme.”
“Label it however you want.” I shove the laptop off the couch and take Minka’s hips in my hands instead. Picking her up, knowing my grip will probably bruise her, I maneuver her onto my lap until she straddles my legs. “I care.” I slide my hands over her ribs and past the bag still slung across her chest.
Carefully, I lift it up and bring the strap over her head, then I set the bag on the arm of the couch and come back to study her eyes. “Call it whatever you want, and call me needy if that helps your ego. But Ifeelsomething, and with that something comes worry. Because I’m gonna be pretty fucking pissed if I get in too deep and then you up and die on me.”
“So let me go.” She sits back on my lap and ignores my hardened cock resting between us. “Release me, defer to a different medical examiner’s office, and forget I exist.”
“But I can’t do that either.” Gliding my hand to the back of her neck, I pull her closer and swallow down her sweet breath. “Because I’m addicted to you too. You’re not meth. You’re oxygen. And no matter how many times you ask me to let you go, I can’t do it. I couldn’t stop wanting you, any easier than my lungs can stop wanting air.”
“So I guess we’re stuck.” She lays her hands on my chest and moves on my lap. I’m not sure she means to dry-fuck me, but my zipper on her clit makes her breath hitch. “We’re stuck, Archer, because we’re oxygen and not methamphetamines.”
I cough out a soft laugh. “They should put that on a Hallmark card sometime.”
“I don’t like being vulnerable to you.” She lifts that stubborn chin again. “I stayed away because every time we’re in the same space, you yank me back in. Feeling something for you makes me vulnerable.”
“Ironic,” I scoff, “considering all that shit I just said about me worrying about you.”
“Which brings us back to being toxic.”
Shaking my head, I spider my hand between her legs, and grin when a simple touch of her clit draws a groan along her throat. “I guess, since we’re both scared and vulnerable, that means we have to believe in each other. It doesn’t make us toxic. It makes us brave and trusting.”
Pulling the stretchy fabric of her yoga pants forward, I slide my hand in, then I sit taller and catch her racing breath with my lips. “I’ll have to learn to trust you to be safe, and you’ll learn to realize it’s okay to love someone.”
Her body stills for a moment. “Love?”
“Eventually.” I pepper kisses along her jaw and back to the warm skin beneath her ear. “Trust?”
“Okay.” Her breath races faster. Faster. “Trust.”
“Sex?”
She chokes out a desperate laugh. “Yuh.”
