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That’s the only choice a little girl has when she lives with a junkie for a mother.
“What else did you have?”
“I had a sammich for lunch, ‘cuz I went to Mrs. Harburger’s to play.”
“You did?”
Pushing through the building’s exit and into the cold outside, I could kick myself when I realize I didn’t make her put a jacket on. But we’re resilient. Fletchers know how to make a crap situation work. So juggling my long-legged baby girl in one arm, I unzip my coat with quick movements, then slide her thirty pounds in until she’s inside my jacket, and zip us up again.
“What was happening at Mrs. Harburger’s house?”
“I played with the Barbie dolls.” Grinning so she shows teeth, not yet at the phase of childhood where she’s losing them, Mia leans back and puts strain on the zipper keeping her safe. Then she brings her hands up and strokes the spiky regrowth on my jaw. “And I had a nap after I had the sammich, ‘cuz I was sleepy.”
“Was it a nice nap?” I slide my hand along her back. Soothing. Adoring. Because maybe I see her most days of the week, but that doesn’t make me her primary parent. I don’t always get to touch.
The only reason I’m not her primary parent is because deep underneath Jada’s toxic behavior is a woman who is capable of greatness. She’s a good person. A good mom. She’s a pure soul who made poor decisions and got lost somewhere along the way.
My work makes it almost impossible for me to care for Mia all on my own, which means I do my damn best to support Jada while she makes half-assed attempts to straighten out.
Unfortunately, she’s escalating. Her behavior is getting worse, and my poor, sweet daughter is having entirely too many naps on old Mrs. Harburger’s living room floor.
“It was a bit cold.” Inside my coat, Mia makes her entire body quiver. “I woked up a little bit cold. But then Sookie came and cuddled me.”
“The cat? Is Sookie a cat?”
“Yuh-huh!” She bobs her head, and sniggers when I smile in response. “She’s very fat.”
“Who’s fat?” Barking out a laugh, I step inside a corner diner a block from Jada’s place, and breathe a sigh of relief when the wall of heating hits us. “Mrs. Harburger, or Sookie?”
Turning silent for a moment, then leaning closer, Mia whispers, “Both of them!” Her voice rises to an almost whispered squeal. “They’re both really squishy. But we don’t say that about humans. We don’t say anything about people’s weight.”
“That’s right.” Unzipping my jacket, I hold Mia until I’m close enough to the almost deserted counter, then I release her so she plops down onto the countertop with a giggle. “We don’t talk about people’s bodies unless we’re saying something nice.”
Glancing across at the server who knows us by face, I ask for, “Two chocolate shakes, and a corndog for the little Fletch.”
“A corndog, please!” Mia cackles. Then she licks her lips and turns to me. “I didn’t even know I wanted a chocolate milkshake. But now—”
“I know what my baby wants.” Leaving her sitting on the counter, I drop onto the stool directly in front of her and let her rest her feet in my lap. “Did Daddy tell you about Uncle Arch’s new kitty cat?”
Instantly, her eyes shoot wide. “He has a cat?”
“Uh-huh. Her name is Chloe, and she’s soooo pretty.”
“Can I visit with her?” She bounces in place and grabs my face. It’s her love language, I suppose. To make sure I’m listening. To emphasize what she considers important. “Please, Daddy, can I visit with her?”
“Of course.” I turn my face and press a kiss to her tiny wrist. “Anytime you like. Uncle Arch said he wants to visit with you soon too. He misses your cute little face.”
“I miss his too!”
Gasping when an icy cold shake is set down in a styrofoam cup, Mia picks it up and brings the straw to her lips. “Mmm.” She draws a long sip and exhales a happy sigh. “It’s so yummy, Daddy.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Snagging a napkin from the dispenser, I drop a little spit on the tissue and bring it up to wipe a smudge of dirt from her cheek. “What else have you been up to today? Anything exciting?”
Anything I need to know?
“Mm. Mommy was visiting with her friend for a little bit. She let me watch cartoons for aaaaages.”
“That sounds awesome!”Not. “Did Grandma or Grandda call today?”
