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I laugh and switch the car on. She might be exaggerating, but then again, she might be right. If he could get it under my skin without hurting me, I bet he’d have considered it by now.
I pull into the visitor parking area of Tink’s complex and park in the closest spot I can find to the main entrance. I look at Izzy again and smile at the steel in her eyes. Her face is blotchy from crying, her nose still watery, but her eyes are set and her posture formidable.
She’s had her moment, and now she’s back to kicking ass.
Climbing out of the car and loading up dozens and dozens of flowers and ribbons in our arms, I lead her up the path toward Tink’s door. Letting ourselves in, I walk straight through to the kitchen and dump the flowers onto the counter, then go search in the living room. “Honey, we’re home.”
I stop at the living room entrance to find Tink huddled beneath a bunch of blankets. The floor and coffee table are littered with used tissues and empty ginger ale cans. “Hey, what’s the matter?” I sit on the edge of the couch and press my hand to her warm face. “Are you sick? I only saw you yesterday. What gives?”
She groans and scrunches her eyes closed. “Someone gave me germs. Cold is killing me.”
“Just a cold?”
She reaches out and fists a bunch of tissues. Bringing them back to her nose, she blows into them like a ship’s horn. “Just a cold. Promise.”
“Let me make you some soup. We can watch a movie and chill.”
“No, it’s okay. I took Advil ten minutes ago. As soon as it kicks in, we can do your thing.”
“We don’t have to, Case. We can just relax. Iz is having a shitty day, too, so why don’t we just order some takeout and chill?”
Casey’s pink eyes turn to narrowed slits as she looks at Iz. Sitting up faster than I expected she could, she tosses her blanket aside. “What’s the matter, Iz? Why are you crying?”
“Not crying.” She turns away and sits on the spare recliner.
“Okay, nitpicker, whywereyou crying? Don’t lie to me, baby sister. That’s twice in a week, and that’snotyou.”
“Nothing has happened.” Iz rolls her eyes and kicks her legs up onto the arm of the couch. “Like, Jim still hates me, Ben’s still a prick, and life is still kinda shit. But nothing actually happened.” Her lips turn up into a grimace. “And I think I’m catching whatever cold you have. I told you it was a bad idea to kiss yesterday.”
Tink’s brows push up with attitude. “I think you forget how smart I am. I haven’t been around much lately, but my memory isn’t that bad. Talk to us and stop trying to deflect. We didn’t kiss this week, but nice try.”
She’s still sad, still deflated, but her lips still manage to turn up into a smirk. “I’ve missed you, Case.”
Tink leans forward and snags Iz’s hand. Tugging her from her seat, she brings her down beside us so we all squish into a two-seater sofa, and when we simply stare at her, she huffs out a breath and throws her head back against the back of the sofa.
“Fine. I don’t know what’s wrong. Maybe I’m menopausal or something.”
Tink purses her lips. “You’re twenty, dummy. Try again.”
Iz laughs softly. “Now I remember why I didn’t miss you so much. I dunno, guys, I just feel… flat.” She rolls her head to look at us both. “Honest. I just feel crap. Broken. I’m so tired. Sometimes dizzy. All the time defeated. I feel like I have a cold, but Advil isn’t helping. And then there’s Jimmy… And since you both think you’re so smart, it won’t surprise you that he breaks my fucking heart every single day that he ignores me.” Just like in the car, her eyes turn misty. “I think I ruined us. He’s never been mean to me, not in all these years we’ve been friends. But he’s mean, now.”
“Izzy… You said he was the first boy in your bed. Did you…” I can’t even say it out loud, but I don’t have to, because Tink snaps her spine straight.
“What! Izzy, what? How did I not know this? Jim’s a dead man. D. E. A. D.”
“No, stop. We haven’t. It’s not like that. Sure, he’s been in my bed a million times. But not like that. God, can you imagine if the other guys knew?” She laughs bitterly. “My dad was an asshole. Like, really bad. One time he beat Jon so bad, that Jon took me out of the house, walked us across town with his busted ribs and smashed up face, and as soon as we climbed through Bobby’s bedroom window, he passed out. Flat out.” She claps her hands together. “He got me to safety, fell to Bobby’s floor, and was out for the next ten hours or so.”
“How old were you?”
She shrugs. “Four? Maybe five. We lived this same scenario a million times over the years. He got me out, got me to safety, passed out to cope with the pain. Bobby was always busy with Jon, and Jim was my friend, so he’d come into Bobby’s room like it was totally normal that a couple kids snuck into his house. He would take my hand, and we’d go back to bed. Bobby was busy, and Jon was unconscious, so as long as I was warm and safe, no one asked where I was. We were never caught.” She shrugs. “That’s how it started, and after a while, it became habit. If I wanted a hug, I’d sneak into Jimmy’s window. If he wanted company, he’d sneak into mine. It’s just been that way for as long as I remember.” She looks at Tink. “He’s snuck into my room at Jon’s place a million times.” Then to me. “And your house, too. It doesn’t even feel like we’re being sneaky. Breaking into someone’s house doesn’t count for us, because it’s just what we know. It’s like saying it’s wrong to go upstairs to bed. That’s where you go to sleep. Well, we go to each other to sleep.”
Tink reaches up and swipes a tear from beneath Iz’s eyes. “You love each other… I don’t understand the problem. Why don’t you choose happiness? Why don’t you choose to be together?”
“I do choose him, Case! He won’t choose me. He’s a damn coward. He doesn’t believe in himself, or us, or… I don’t even know! He knows what I want. If you guys know, then he knows, too. It’s not like I’ve been hiding my feelings. I don’t understand why he’s not jumping in with me, and I don’t know why I’m crying so fucking much.” She angrily swipes at her tears. “I’ve never cried so much in my damn life.”
“Iz, honey…” Tink reaches across and clasps Iz’s hand. “You didn’t sleep with Jimmy. But what about Ben?”
Fat tears roll over Iz’s cheeks. “Yeah. We were together for months before I... He was my… We…” She nods pathetically. “I just wanted to be treated like a woman, you know? Jimmy refuses to let me grow up. My brothers refuse to let me grow up. Ben treated me like a woman.”
