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No, I don’t wanna know.
No matter my feelings on the subject, no matter if I think it’s weird and gross, the fact remains my brother is in love with a woman that’s pregnant to another man. If that was Kit, and I was on the sidelines watching, I’d go insane. Literally, white coat needed, no sharp objects allowed, I wouldn’t survive myself, insane.
So, I need to check in on him.
I pull into his driveway a few minutes after leaving mine, and looking around, I frown at his still closed windows and curtains. It’s July, it’s hot, and his house is closed up like he’s away on vacation.
Bad sign.
Not unexpected, but still, bad.
I walk along the stone pathway and kick stray pebbles out of my way. Climbing the front steps, I stop at the door and hesitate. Normally, we’d comfortably let ourselves into each other’s houses, but today definitely feels different.
Lifting my fist, I thump on the door and listen carefully for any movement inside. I considered calling him earlier, but I didn’t want to give him a chance to run or hide. I knock again, although I don’t intend to wait out here much longer.
I have a key. I was just trying to be considerate, but if he doesn’t open the door, I’ll let myself in, in three, two…
He swings the door wide angrily. “What?”
He looks bad.
Really bad.
I’m not sure he slept since I last saw him. He looks like he spent the night hugging a bottle of scotch. And maybe the toilet. “Can I come in?”
“Will you fuck off if I say no?”
“Nope. I’m just being polite.”
“Polite, my ass. Whatever…” He turns and leaves me on the front porch alone, so I step in behind him and dodge the carnage that used to be his living room. The kitchen’s no better; shit everywhere, broken dishes laying around, tv turned on way too loud.
“Jim…” I stop and frown. I don’t even know what to say. My chest hurts at my brother’s pain, but I don’t know how to fix it. She’s having a baby with someone else. There’s not much fixing I can do.
“Did she stay at your house last night?”
I nod and turn away when his voice cracks. “Yeah, she did. We asked her to move in, actually. We want to help her.”
“Yeah, okay.” He stomps to the fridge and pulls out a gallon of juice. “Good idea.”
“How long have you loved her, Jim? How long has this been going on?”
He shrugs and drinks from the bottle. “Nothing going on, B. But I was heading out for a run now, so I’ll catch you later, okay?”
Nope. Not okay. “Don’t lie to me, Jim. That’s not who we are, and I’ll be damned if we start lying to each other now.”
“What do you want me to say, Bobby?” He spins and slams the open bottle onto the counter. “That I love a girl who’s always been unavailable to me? That she’s a baby having a baby, and now I’ll never know what it’s like to have her love me back.” He slams the juice back into the fridge and flings the door closed. “You think you know love? You think you and Kit have the market share on that? Wrong! I’ve been in love with Izzy since I was eight years old, B. Eight!”
“What? How… What?”
He nods confidently. “Eight. I was eight when I was riding in to save the day. She had these boys, these bullies, who liked to chase her and pull her hair. Every fucking day, I’d step between her and them and I’d protect her.”
“Um… okay.”
“I got detention that afternoon, so being the stubborn ass she was, she decided to walk home alone. They followed her, started beating on her.” His nostrils flare. “Coward pricks. I sprinted to catch up, to save her, because that was my job. My job! She was only six, and by the time I got to her, she had skinned knees and tears in her eyes, but she had them on the ground with their balls up in their throats and she was ready for her victory lap.”
Despite the tears in his eyes, I smile and think of that little girl. No one messes with the Harts. They’re a special breed and they take no one’s shit.
“I walked her home, held her hand to keep her close, promised I’d never leave her to fight her foes alone again, then I kissed her. We were six and eight. Just kids. But I knew then that she was my forever, and I promised myself, that as soon as she was old enough to make a proper decision, I’d be the first in line.” He spins fast as a snake, picks up a mug and slams it into the sink. “Ben jumped the line, Bobby! He wasn’t supposed to be in the line at all, but he jumped and now she’ll never be mine.”
