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“Why didn’t you say something, Jim? You’re only two years older than her. You’re not a grown ass man dating a kid. You could’ve asked her out years ago. You could’ve torched that line.”
“Because she would have said yes! She’d have dated me too, Bobby. Then we would have fucked it up in high school. That shit never lasts, those are practice relationships for the real thing. I didn’t want to be her practice run, I didn’t wanna break up over dumb shit. So I kept quiet and watched her grow.”
I’m still speechless.
He’s hurt for most of his life.
For a girl that’s always been right in front of him. A girl who would have said yes, if only he’d asked.
“So, instead of risking it, I became her best friend. I became anything she needed me to be. I know all of her secrets–” He tugs at his hair and chokes on emotion. “Iknewall of her secrets. I was the best friend she could ever ask for, and I was just watching and waiting for her to grow into who she wanted to be before I asked her to be mine.”
“Jimmy… You didn’t have to keep it a secret. You could have talked to me. Shared the burden, at least.”
“Well, you know what?” His voice cracks as tears spill over. “It doesn’t fucking matter! She has another man’s baby in her belly, and now she’ll never be all mine. She’ll never be free of him.”
“Jim, she’s–”
“No!” He storms forward and slams his palms into my chest. “Just imagine Bobby, just for one second, if someone else touched Kit. Slept with her. Came inside her! If he planted his baby inside her. Don’t you dare stand there and tell me to calm down. Fuck you, Bobby.” He collapses forward and hugs me when I thought he was going to hit me. I hold him tight while he sobs like I’ve never seen him do before.
I push back the images he plants in my brain – of Kit with another man, of her growing round with another man’s baby – and I hug him back. I hug him tight and take comfort as I give it. I honestly don’t know if I’d survive it if I were in his shoes.
But not surviving is not an option for Jim. He doesn’t get a choice.
We just keep going. We fight on.
