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“No. I did not!” Iz snaps. “He wouldn’t even give us a chance. That jerk says he loves me, but wouldn’t actually date me. Like I’m not good enough. F-u-c-k-i-n-g douche. Is douche a swear word?”
Tina shakes her head. “Not today it’s not.”
“Good, because he’s a douche.”
“So you love this guy, and yeah,” she points toward Tink, “sexy as focaccias. But instead of dating him, you hook up with someone else and get pregnant?”
“That’s accurate. Thanks.” Iz rolls her eyes bitterly. “One time, one effing time, and I got pregnant.”
“One time?” I ask. “You guys dated for months!”
“Yeah, fat load of good that did me. One time. He took my virginity, he gave me a baby in exchange.”
Tink drops her face to her hands. “You gave him your virginity. I can’t even.”
“It wasn’t even worth it.” She scrunches her face. “It was terrible. Painful and gross and not nice at all.”
“Aw honey, it’s always awful the first time.”
“It wouldn’t have been with Jimmy…” Iz laments. “He would have made it special.”
“Probably, but that’s because that man loves you.” Tink squeezes her hand. “He worships the ground you walk on, so of course he would have made it special. But with anyone else, it was gonna suck bad. Maybe that was his plan all along? He couldn’t bear to hurt you, to break that, ah, barrier,” she adds awkwardly. “So he decided to let another man do that bit first. He just didn’t expect focaccia-face-Ben to own super sperm.”
Iz rolls her eyes. “I don’t think any of that was Jim’s plan. I don’t think hehada plan. He just expected me to sit and stand and roll over when he was ready. I was tired of waiting to be treated like a woman, and now look what happened.”
“Maybe you shoulda rolled over when he was right there. Bet he would’ve done something about it if you were strategic.”
Iz purses her lips. “Strategic?”
“Yeah, you know, head down, ass up, no panties.”
Iz whips the ice from her glass and tosses it at Tink. “I swear. You’re the worst.”
She laughs and tosses the spilled ice back. “Anyway, we’ve gone off track… again! We’re supposed to be talking about Tina’s ass. We know a bunch of sexy men who like ass, Tina, and we’d be more than happy to introduce you.”
“Yeah, actually, my brother’s very handsome,” Iz says evilly. “And since Tink has no need for him, I guess that makes him single, too.”
“You cow,” Tink spits.
“What? I mean, you either want him for more than random hook ups, or you don’t. And if you don’t, then I bet Tina would appreciate a handsome man if he was right in front of her.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t. You hate this half in, half out c-r-a-p arrangement you two have.”
“I feel like I’m missing a lot of details…” Tina whispers
“No, really, you’re not. I have one biological brother, and three additional brothers, including Bobby and Jimmy. The other is Aiden. Well, actually, Jack makes four additional. Damn, they’re really multiplying. Anyway...” Izzy waves the distraction away easily, but my heart does a flip-flop because she considers Jack as one of her brothers. He’s still my responsibility, and it makes my heart happy that my new family accepts him as one of their own. “My biological brother, Jon, and Tink have the hots for each other, but they both seem to be suffering from a little something called I’m-a-jerk-who-wont-commit-even-though-I-actually-want-to-phobia.”
“That’s a big word.” I laugh. “Can you spell it?”
“Shut up, you.” She tosses the ice at me. “So, there, you’re caught up. And since focaccia face over here doesn’t want him…” Iz shoots Tink the stink eye, “well, maybe you do. I’d be happy to make the introduction.”
“Ah.” Tina’s eyes flick back and forth between the dueling girls. “Thank you. But I think I’ll pass on Jon. I’d rather not get my face ripped apart by Tink, even if she is in denial.”
“Ah well, maybe he’ll meet someone else. Since he’s single…”
