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More than two hundred pounds of fighter asshole land on my back, but I’ve been training too long and too damn hard to be taken down by a sucker punch. If he wants to play, then I have the pent-up rage of a twenty-three year old, sexually frustrated virgin who didn’t sleep last night.
Let’s go to war.
I throw my elbow back and snap his jaw around in an instant, and in his distraction, I spin and scissor my legs in an effort to switch our positions and take his back. He’s easily forty pounds heavier than me, maybe even more, so when he pivots, it’s still me who ends up on the bottom. The icy moisture from the grass soaks through my shirt, but I don’t feel the cold.
I feel red hot fucking rage.
I wrap my legs around his waist and hold him still, and even from the bottom, I throw haymakers at his head. I don’t care that I’m fighting like a bitch at the club. I don’t even care if I start pulling hair soon. I just care that he hurts like he hurt me.
“Jim, stop!” He brings his arms up to cover his face. Scissoring a second time, I spin us around and get him on his back. Victory spurs on my anger. I’m so fucking angry at him. At the world. For hurting me. And for hurting Iz.
“Fuck you, Jon!” I’m the asshole on top, and now I’m going to get something back. For once in my life. I’m taking my shit back for me, and even if she’ll be pissed at me for hitting her brother, for Iz, too.
“Jim, stop!”
In my red haze, I don’t realize that he’s yet to hit me. Besides his take down, he hasn’t touched me.
“Jim–” Jack’s voice cuts off with a satisfying crunch as my fists slam down again and again on Jon’s arms and face.
“I’m going to marry your sister, motherfucker! And I’m gonna make her so fucking happy, she’ll wish she never saw that other asshole.” I know she already regrets Ben. I know I’m talking nonsense, but I can’t help but purge the poison from my body. “You’ll be glad she chose me in the end. There’ll never be another man who loves her more than I do!” I hit him again and revel in the way his blood coats my fists.
He’s not out, and he’s smiling more than he fucking should.
“You’ll run her down that aisle, and you’ll throw her into my arms, because I’m the best fucking man for the job.” I hit him some more. “She and Bean will never want for anything for the rest of their lives. Because I fucking love them!”
I keep hitting him. I can’t stop hitting him. Liquid dribbles along my cheek – tears, or blood? But each time I slam my fists down, I lose another chunk of my soul. And my energy.
He’s my brother, and I’m hurting him.
Scissoring up and flipping us over, Jon pins me to the grass and tucks his head into my neck. “Get off me!” It’s like I’m a wild dog caught in a trap. “Get off!”
“Jimmy, calm down,” he murmurs in my ear. “Cool your fucking shit.”
“Jim, stop.” Aiden lowers down on the grass the way he does in the octagon. His face joins ours. His voice washes over me. “Stop. You got him good, but you need to stop now.”
“Have you fucking stopped yet?” Jon laughs, and the humor in his voice gives me renewed energy.
I want him to choose me for Iz. I want him to tell me I’m good enough.
“Quit it!” He laughs when I struggle against his hold. I’m at the point where I’d be willing to bite, since my hands and legs are pinned. “Seriously, feel my hands. I’m tapping. You win.” He literally taps my forearm.
It’s a universal symbol in our home. We tap, it’s over. You get the fuck off and go back to your side of the room.
“I’m tapping, okay? You need to take a breath.” He eases back, but he doesn’t dare let me go. He knows our fight code doesn’t mean shit on this icy lawn. He knows he’ll lose teeth if he lets me loose. “Fuck a stick, Jim. I thought you were tired.” He laughs, but it’s more of a whistle through his bent nose. “I thought for sure, the second I took you to the ground, you’d pass out. I didn’t think you’d break my fucking nose.”
Slowly, he leans back and sits up. He’s still on me, he still pins my hips, but slowly, his hands come off my arms and his face is revealed in all its glory.
His fucking nose is broken.
I laugh. Something finally went my way. That pretty boy’s nose is bent in completely the wrong direction, and the satisfaction that comes from knowing I did it, gives my heart wings.
“Are you calm now?” Aiden’s breath washes over the side of my face. He’s ready to tear us apart if I start again, but now that I’m horizontal, I could really do with a nap.
I’m out.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Fuck you!” I spit at Jon. “You’re the asshole. I’m the guy who’s gonna marry your sister. I’m not asking for your blessing.”
