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“I’m not ready to go yet.” I stroke Bean’s bruised cheek. “Not leaving yet.” That’s the end of it. I won’t budge. I need more time.
“Okay.” Jim straightens my chair. Standing close behind me, he brushes my hair aside and strokes my neck. “It’s okay, baby. We don’t have to go.” His body warmth at my back slowly warms me enough to send my shivers away. His massaging fingers has my heart slowing. “It’s alright.”
* * *
An hour and another breastfeed later, the anxiety continues to sit low in my belly, but I grudgingly hand Bean over to Kit and let Jim wheel me away.
I’m falling asleep in my chair. I can’t even hold my daughter safely anymore. Time for sleep.
He hits the button on the wall and the electronic doors swing open to reveal the rest of my family.
Bobby and Jon jump up immediately, but with a lifted hand, Jim shakes his head. “Everything’s fine, but Iz needs to eat something and crash.”
“Bobby.” My words are slurred, like I’m reaching hour seven of an all-night drunk-a-palooza.
Moving fast, he kneels in front of my chair and takes my hands in his. “Sissy. How you feeling, honey?”
“Tired.”
He smiles shakily. “You look tired. You’ve had a massive day.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna nap for a bit. Do me a favor?”
“Anything.” His chocolate eyes study mine. They’re exactly the same eyes as Jim’s. “Anything you like.”
I swallow down the new fingers of panic. I’m tempted to simply turn around and go back in, but even with a fresh course of adrenaline zinging through my body, my eyes continue to weigh heavy. “Kit’s waiting for you. Don’t let Bean out of your sight, k?”
“I promise.” He presses a kiss to my knuckles. “I’ll guard her with my life, I swear.”
“I’m trusting you.” My head lolls as Jim begins to wheel me away. “Trusting you, Beebee.”
“I’ve got it, Sissy. Have some lunch, have a sleep, then you’ll be good as new.”
I catch Jack’s curious gaze before my eyes close.One hour, one sandwich and some juice, then I’ll be back.
