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“So, where are you taking her?” Bobby’s deep voice echoes in the hall.
“Pinocchio’s,” Jimmy replies. His gruff voice sends my heart racing painfully in my chest. “It’s supposed to be fancy.”
“Yeah,” Bobby’s equally gruff voice answers. “We went there the other week. What time are you picking her up?”
“I’m going home now to shower. Then I’ll leave–” They step into Bobby’s office and come to a screeching stop. Faces pale when they realize we’re in here. Faces turn green when they realize who overheard them, andwhatwe overheard. “Iz?”
“Um, I’m feeling a little tired.” I hastily jump up from my chair and speak only to Kit. “Can you get Jon to take my classes? He won’t mind. I’ll see you at home.”
She nods, but that pity she didn’t show earlier shines in full force now. I want to claw my eyes out.
Jimmy still loves me… but he’s taking a girl to a fancy restaurant tonight. Yay me.
That’s the kind of undying devotion I should settle for.
Fuck that.
I shimmy around Bobby and Jim and bolt from the room. Before I hit the end of the hall, a booming “Shit!” echoes and chases me all the way back to the reception desk. I grab my bags from beneath the desk and push through the front door as fast as I can.
I can’t stay here. Maybe I can’t even stay in this family anymore.
I barely escape the gym before the first traitorous tear falls. Then another. Then a flood of asshole tears send me half blind as I struggle with my heavy bags and trip my way around the side of the industrial shed and out of sight.
I walk across the parking lot and step onto the uneven pathway. I’m going home. Climbing under the covers. Then clicking my heels and begging to go back to when I was six.
The bus stop is in the exact opposite direction to the way I’m walking, which means I’d have to pass the gym again. No doubt, there are five fighters standing around wringing their hands like little old ladies waiting to save me.
So, I walk.
I’ll save the commuters on the bus from sitting near the crazy crying pregnant chick, and since I didn’t work out today, I’ll consider the thirty-minute walk home good enough.
For the first five minutes, I walk fast. I need to get as far from Jimmy and his date as I can, then when I’m far enough away that even when I turn back, I can’t see the building, I slow and angrily tug my earphones from my pocket. I plug them into the phone jack and turn my music on loud.
I need something, anything, to distract me from my shitty life.
Bean kicks and rolls around angrily as I hoist my bags securely onto my shoulder, and when Gnash’sI Hate You, I Love Youplays in my ears, I snort and start moving.
Yep. That sounds about right.
I kick small rocks as I trek across town, and I thank the universe for allowing it to be November; if I must walk at thirty-two weeks pregnant with heavy ass bags on my shoulders, at least the breeze keeps me from overheating.
Jimmy’s got a date tonight.
He’s taking her to Pinocchio’s.
If I were being completely honest with myself, I should be happy; his unintended announcement simply reinforces that I’m doing the right thing by moving. But more importantly, he deserves to move on; he deserves to find someone just as good and pure as he is.
I probably won’t ever like her. I might even spew on her beautiful wedding dress when I get the obligatory invitation. But if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll catch her pretty bouquet and then I may receive just a fraction of the heaven that she’ll have.
I step off the curb and cross over when Ed Sheeran’sLego Housecomes through my earbuds, then stepping around a poo brown car parked on the other side, I step back onto the sidewalk and keep moving.
I’m glad I told Kit about my plans to move. I hadn’t planned to, I didn’twantto, but I’m glad I did. By just sharing with her, I’ve already lightened my load.
She’s on my side. She’ll help.
Maybe once I get set up, I should invite Tink and Tina over. The four of us can have a sleepover. A lazy girls’ night in, in lieu of a housewarming party.
The wind picks up and blows hair around my face, whipping my skin and sticking to my lips.
