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“I decided to be brave,” I said, ignoring his last comment. “I was seventeen, and I couldn’t live the rest of my life in fear.”
Those fingers that dug into my side only a moment ago now stroked a soothing rhythm on my hip. I drew closer to Kane. I’d been so alone for so long. Until recently, I thought I’d been okay with that. But as he held me, I realized that dull ever-present ache had been there since that Labor Day weekend here in the Hamptons. Most of the time, I could overlook it. I was busy. And I had Penelope.
The swirl of doubt and confusion when it came to Kane became clear.
I feel safe with him.
Oh no. Fine time for such a revelation. While I wanted to blame it on the fresh hurt from thinking about Tyler, along with all the other turmoil of the past few days, I knew that wasn’t true.
I couldn’t tell him that. He hated me. Or at least he thought he did. And wouldn’t he assume that I wanted what I couldn’t have?
“You stopped talking,” he said quietly.
Instead of looking at him, I buried my face in his neck. I might never have this again. While it was wrong to be so selfish, I did this one thing for me. So that when we were away from here, and Kane decided he couldn’t stand the sight of me for what I’d done, I’d have this to hold on to.
“Barn?”
The name I’d hated sounded so kind and gentle on his lips. It was worse when he didn’t call me that. Because when he didn’t, that was as if I meant nothing.
“I need a minute,” I breathed against his neck.
Without the distractions and preconceived notions, that frenzy only he brought about was more potent. When I allowed myself to feel what this man did to me, it was almost too much to bear. My entire being vibrated with the nearness of him. With the realization that he was my one.
My sister’s almost ex-husband was the reason no one else ever garnered my attention.
He was the reason for my restlessness.
I never felt more alive than when I was with him.
It was wrong.
Of course I would fall for the one man I shouldn’t have.
Now that I knew how I felt, that I’d given life to those feelings, how was I supposed to keep going without him?
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
KANE
I feltthe shift in her.
Something had changed, though I wasn’t sure what that was. She clearly had some sort of feelings for this Tyler, whom I also unnaturally despised.
What would it be like to have someone’s love for so long? A real and genuine kind that lasted for eons.
And I allowed JoJo to cling to me, even though she was pretending I was him.
Why did I have this irrational jealousy when it came to her?
Men had fawned over Alma the entire time we’d been together. It had never once bothered me.
But JoJo loving someone else . . .get a grip, Kane.
I was an irrational fool when it came to this woman.
The way she felt in my arms . . . was exactly how it felt twenty-two years ago. Like she belonged there. Like I belonged. I’d missed the softness of a woman in my arms. The intimacy of a simple hug.
It had been such a long time since I’d had this.
