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“A little.” He stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “Why are you here?”
My heart beat faster in my chest. “I don’t know exactly.”
Some of the light in his eyes dimmed. I hated I’d caused that. But how could I explain to Kane I wanted to be here for him when I didn’t understand the reasons myself?
He resumed walking. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“Yes, but I’d rather stay here.”
He lifted a brow. “I could use your help if you can spare some time.”
“I can.” My fingers tightened on the crook of his arm. “And I still want to hear your version of what happened.”
“When Whitley told the judge what Alma had done, you could see in her face how much she didn’t like that my lovely soon-to-be ex-wife had so kindly kept me in the dark about Penelope.” That smirk returned. “She also wasn’t happy Alma didn’t show for the hearing. It was informal and short notice, but still disrespectful to the Honorable Judge Robard.”
“If she rules in Alma’s favor you won’t be calling her that.”
“No, I won’t.”
A family took up most of the sidewalk space. The woman pushed a stroller while the man held his little girl’s hand. She clasped the string of a balloon and chattered away.
A familiar pang hit me.
I’d never felt incomplete without a partner. And Penelope was more than I ever deserved.
Maybe I hadn’t been cut out for the society life that had been expected of me, but I wouldn’t have minded a companion and more children. Now it was too late.
If I’d been honest with Kane, could we have had children?
What are you even thinking, JoJo? You were never together. And that would’ve been weird, wouldn’t it?
But it didn’t feel weird. It felt like a loss.
Kane took in the scene with a contemplative look on his face. “If I could pick a mother for my child, I’d pick you.”
I stopped and our arms stretched where we were linked. “But I never have a plan, you think I’m a terrible dresser, and I eat weird food.”
“You forgot to mention you’re the most unselfish person I know. You stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. You aren’t afraid to put jerks in their place. And you gave my daughter a chance when her mother wanted to . . .” He swallowed hard and looked away, his eyes glassy. “I didn’t have a choice.” His voice was rough. “At least you gave me a chance.”
My eyes stung. “I don’t know why, but I had to fight for her.” A tear slipped down my cheek.
He swiped it away. “What if she’d . . . I can’t even say it. What if I’d never known her? What if she’d gone to heaven and thought her daddy didn’t want her?” He choked out the last question.
The floodgates opened. How could I have ever thought this man could hurt a child, let alone his own? He didn’t realize how tender his heart was.
But I was beginning to see.
He caught my tears.
“You believe in heaven?” I asked between sobs.
“I have to. That means I’ll have more time with her someday.”
Kane.
I’d been such a fool. He had this exterior that was very much him, but underneath was a whole other man. One I wanted to know.
Maybe Penelope was right after all. He had touched my heart all those years ago, and no one had been able to touch it since. Alma was a fool to turn her back on a man like him.
