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My head lolled to the side, and I watched the buildings go by. Traffic was fairly light at this hour. I just wanted to go home, except I couldn’t really call it that anymore. My home was in a shithole apartment that didn’t even have a proper bedroom. She was probably sleeping on a worn-out sofa and living out of a suitcase. My phone pulsed in my pocket, begging for me to check that blue dot. I ignored it. I could wait until I had some privacy to check on her. After the night I’d had, I needed Vivian as much as I ever had. I wanted to get lost in her.
But I couldn’t. This mess was just getting started. I wouldn’t be selfish when it came to her. At least knowing that she had a chance for something more than my dark world gave me a sense of peace.
“Alvarez will stall as best he can,” Donato assured me.
“Is he trustworthy?”
“He’s done all he can to work with me over the years. There’s always the possibility that someday he won’t, but right now, we really don’t have a choice other than to trust him.”
A roundabout answer for maybe. I hated relying on other people.
I looked out the window again and registered where we had been heading. “What are we doing here?” The car turned down the side street next to Donato’s building and into the underground garage.
“We’ve lots to plan. Namely your defense,” Zegas shot back.
I wasn’t interested. “This has been fun gentleman, but I don’t need a defense. I’m going home. Both of you have better things to do, and I’ve got a charity event to prepare for.”
When I’d asked Giselle to come with me to the Heart Ball, I hadn’t accounted for an arrest. Since I wasn’t in jail anymore, it was too late to cancel, though I wouldn’t even if I thought she’d understand. This was the way I paid tribute to my mother’s memory. If I was a no-show, somehow that would disappoint her. I couldn’t handle hurting anyone else I cared about.
I ignored the strenuous protests that trailed after me as I got out of the car and went straight to the 57thStreet subway station. Everything counted now, my time left as a free man limited. Glutton for punishment that I was, I had to do things where I felt close to Vivian. Riding the subway was just one of them.
She’d be disappointed in me when she found out what I’d done, and that hurt. But I’d promised her from the very beginning that I’d fight for her. This was the only way I knew how.
As I walked down the stairs into the bowels of Manhattan, a glimpse of glossy black hair flashed in the crowd in front of me. Vivian. I picked up my pace, shoving past people to catch up. She was always there when I needed her most. I was alive again just seeing her.
Except as she stopped on the platform for the train, I realized my mind was playing tricks on me. The woman wasn’t my Vivian, didn’t really even look like her. I was a desperate man. Desperate and delusional.
And as the train rumbled to a stop beside me, I accepted that fate.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Vivian
Present
“I can’t believeyou’re living here again.” Muriella peered around the arsenal of beauty products in her arms to make sure she made it to the next step down the stairs of my apartment building.
“Watch your step. This one’s loose,” I warned her.
“This is not the place for you,” Muriella insisted, dodging the rickety wood.
We made it to the bottom and burst through the front door. Stone jumped out of the waiting limousine.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had all this shi—I mean, stuff?” He gave both of us a stern look. “I could’ve helped.”
Without asking, he took the load from Muriella’s arms and piled it in the trunk.
“Ready to do this?” he asked as he took my bags.
“As I’ll ever be.” My stomach did a somersault at the prospect of seeing Daniel. So much was riding on this evening at the Heart Ball. Muriella had worked her magic, and now it was up to me and Stone.
“Is that what it takes for you to look like that?” he asked when I climbed into the back seat. Muriella and I frowned.What the hell is that supposed to mean?
“It is for special occasions,” M huffed on my behalf.
“So you don’t normally use all that stuff? Like on a daily basis?”
I looked down at my aquamarine dress to see if I’d missed a flaw or something. “No.” I thought I looked damn good, but Stone wasn’t helping my confidence.
