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She nodded against me, and I tightened my hold. “Were you outside so you could see the stars?”
“I wanted to be close to Mama,” she confessed. This had happened nearly two years before. All this time, she’d been suffering in silence, clinging to the stars and music to help her through.
I had my suspicions she didn’t even let Vivian or Daniel know just how bad it was.
“The song is in one of your movies.” She sniffled again, and I reached for a tissue on the bedside table, offering it to her.
“I asked them to add it.”
She blew her nose, a few creases forming between her brows. “You did?”
“For you.” She hadn’t even known I was there that night, but I wanted a part of her in one of my films, even if I was the only one who knew.
“I’m not sure what to say.” Muriella crumpled the tissue in her fist. “You asked me if I’d heard the music the next morning, but not in front of Vivian and Daniel.” She leaned up on her elbow.
“I didn’t want you to think I’d been spying,” I said sheepishly. “How else could I figure out what that song was?”
“Why wait until they were looking at the view?”
I released a long breath. “Just seemed like a private moment. I’d intruded, and I figured it was up to you to share it.”
She laid her head back on my chest. “They worry when I have the nightmares. Especially Daniel.”
“I know.” She popped back up. “That’s what I called him about earlier. Thought he might be able to help.”
Her mouth pinched on one side. “You told him?”
I slid my fingers up and down the length of her spine, praying like hell I hadn’t just stepped in it. “I was worried. It’s my fault you had the damn nightmare to—”
“It is not your fault,” she growled.
“If I hadn’t put up the stars—”
“I love them.” She narrowed her gaze on me. “Don’t you dare blame yourself.”
“Can’t help it.” I tried to keep my rhythm steady, but my fingers moved faster.
She splayed her hand on my stomach and pushed. “I didn’t want them to know.”
“You keeping stuff from your friends?”
She scooted away, putting an inch between us. “It hurts them. There’s no reason to tell them about every single bad dream.”
“Do you have them more often than you’re letting on?”
“No.” She slumped like she was too tired to hold herself up any longer. “I’ve been ok for a while now as long as there’s a light on,” she whispered.
I stilled my fingers, my gut twisting at the thought that I was the reason she’d slept in the dark the last two nights.
“It doesn’t matter.” She edged back closer to me. “They’ll never go away. There’s nothing I can do about them.”
What was I supposed to say to that? No way was I making promises to her I couldn’t keep. “When they come, we’ll fight them together.”
“You should’ve stayed in your own room so you could sleep.”
“I’d just have lain there worrying about you.” I drew small circles on her back with my knuckles. “What does ‘no-may-tokas’ mean?”
Her voice was scratchy when she spoke. “Don’t touch me.”
