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I collapsed against his shoulder. He ran his fingers up and down the length of my back in a steady rhythm until I nearly dozed off.
He carried me to bed where we lay spent, our eyes closed. Just before his breaths evened with sleep, he mumbled three unmistakable words against my hair. I pretended not to hear, but the quiet of the hotel suite settled in, leaving me alone with my thoughts. He couldn’t have meant the confession, yet I couldn’t stop it from replaying over and over in my head. I was restless as I stared at the ceiling. I hadn’t kissed anyone since I’d promised myself I wouldn’t get hurt again. Easton had broken through everything I’d built. He’d made me forget about my need for control and to keep feelings out of sex. Tonight hadn’t been about power or being in charge.
We’d been equals. Pleasure and need had overridden all else, and it had never even occurred to me to take the reins. Not with Easton, because I trusted him implicitly.He’d wanted this. Us. Coming together.There had been no pretense. And if he truly loved me, he’d want my soul, just like Ruby said about the possibility of losing Granddaddy one day.My soul and heart will be buried with your granddaddy, Mulaney. That’s what love is. You lose your soul.I knew she’d said more than that, something about it being worth it, but only those words had stuck with me.Love meant losing my soul.
And I couldn’t do that.I couldn’t give that.
Bryce Green had humiliated me and caused me so much self-doubt all those years ago. What if I gave my heart to Easton Carter and he tossed me to the side? It would eviscerate me.
He had the power I’d sworn to never give anyone, and he’d taken it without me even realizing it. No one could have the ability to hurt me. I couldn’t allow it.I wouldn’t, no matter how incredible it had felt to be in his arms. To have him inside me.
Easton had come too close. But I wouldn’t allow that to continue.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Easton
Present
Mulaney backedaway from me one heel click at a time. Her fists balled and jaw clenched. I’d gladly take a punch in the face if it would put an end to all the nonsense around me.
“When did this happen?”
I didn’t turn around to look at my dad when he spoke. His tone was hurt. I couldn’t decipher if it was because I’d kept something this important from him or because his feelings for Mulaney were more.
Acid coated my mouth. She’d married me, but what if she’d been his all along? Hell, I’d woken up the next morning in Vegas alone and hadn’t been able to talk to her for nearly four days after the wedding. Pretty clear where her head was at. It was mine that was a wreck.
“It’s about damn time,” Miss Ruby said.
“You didn’t think to ask for her hand, son?” Even Mr. Jacobs’s stern tone couldn’t break my focus on Mulaney’s face.
What I hadn’t seen all these months, even though she’d told me over and over, was finally apparent. Iwasher mistake.
She hadn’t needed time to warm up to the idea of being married. The timing of her becoming interim CEO right after Vegas wasn’t the issue I’d made it out to be in my head. Those were notions of a man with false hope and a belief he’d make her see they belonged together.
Our night in Vegas had been the most incredible of my life, and it had very little to do with the sex, though it had been awe-inspiring. Mulaney had been magnificent. The way she gave so much of herself. Somehow I’d known it would be like that.Unrivaled.I could see it all. The view of what my days with her could be like beyond work, where we took our friendship, our partnership to a deeper level. I’d finally acknowledged the feelings I’d kept buried.She’d been everything to me for too many years to count.
With every step she took away from me, the wounds that had never healed ripped wide open. The only difference between then and now was this time I got to watch her walk away instead of waking up in a hotel room alone.
An energy cracked between us, one loaded with pain and anger and the chemistry neither could control. It was the betrayal that was most potent. She stared at me like I’d done something catastrophic by outing our secret, but I was done playing by her rules.
Our gazes warred until she disappeared. The front door slammed, and Muriella darted toward the foyer.
“Aren’t you going to go after her?” My father’s voice broke through the haze.
“Maybe she’d rather you go,” I spat, the bar stool scraping as I stood.
His brows knit together, but I shouldered my way out of the kitchen before he could say anything. Once I was in the elevator lobby, I looked around in a daze, temporarily at a loss.
I opted for the stairwell, jogging the flight down to the apartment. Was I chasing after her or running away? Part of me had hoped she’d own our marriage now that her family knew, and we could move forward together. The other wasn’t sure if I should be grateful she hadn’t. Everything in me screamed I knew her, that she would never be with my father or ruin our company.
Small seeds of doubt were a powerful thing. Adding my anger on top of it was a dangerous combination. I felt crushed.Defeated.
I’d followed my mother’s advice and given Mulaney space to get used to the idea of us being married. The wide berth I’d left between us had as much to do with respect as anything. I didn’t want anyone to think she had her position at Carter Energy for any other reason than she’d earned it. She’d been with us for so long, we should’ve been well beyond that, but she was a force to be reckoned with. The timing of her being named interim CEO and our nuptials was suspect, even if only a handful of us knew. As unfair as it was, people didn’t always choose to act with respect around those who achieved goals before them.
The door to our room was open, but I knew she wasn’t there. Mulaney’s presence was impossible not to feel.
I shoved a few things into a bag and grabbed my briefcase. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to think straight. At least I understood one thing very clearly: Mulaney and I might share undeniable chemistry, but it would never amount to love or marriage. I’d been blinded by misguided hope. But now I could see. There was absolutely no future for us. It was time to end this farce.
