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I released her immediately.He thinks I love her.Because he knows me. My head pounded. Moments ago I had doubted the integrity, the morality of the man I’d loved all my life.For God’s sake, Carter, how did you ever believe he could do that to Mama?How could Drew? That was so much more in line with the man I knew than cheating ever would be. I’d let poison cloud my judgment because, when it came to Mulaney, I had no sense.
Her chin lifted. “I don’t owe you any explanation. If anything, you owe me an apology.”
She was right, but I couldn’t find the words for one. It wasn’t just her hand that had smacked me back into reality, but her words.
“When it comes to you, I’m irrational,” I admitted.
That didn’t deter her. “Do you really want to stay married to a woman you don’t trust?” She tilted her head back, defiance blazing up at me.
There it was again. She was mad all right, but it was tinged with a hurt I didn’t expect.
I clamped my hands on her hips. “I want to stay married toyou. You made promises. I want you to keep them.”
She ran her fingertip down my cheek with enough pressure so as just not to break the skin. “I will never use my children as bargaining chips.”
That part of me she owned fist-pumped in double time. “Then it looks like you’re stuck with me.” I pressed my fingers into her flesh. “Or we could do it the old-fashioned way.”
“You’re insane.” She spoke as if I’d punched holes in her voice. Memories of our wedding night reflected back at me.
When I’d woken up to an empty bed the morning after, I thought I’d been alone in experiencing the intensity of our union. It seemed impossible, but she’d made it look easy to walk away, while all I’d craved was more of her. No matter how many rounds she’d shot at me, they’d all been worth it, because I knew how good it would be when she finally gave in to us.
Those brown pools revealed exactly what I felt. She’d been moved to the point there was no going back. She was just better at hiding it.
I inched my face closer until my lips hovered over hers. “Am I?”
“Three minutes ago you thought I was fucking your father,” she said hoarsely.
“I was wrong.” Our chests heaved against one another.
“How could you ever believe that?”
“I didn’t until I saw you in that embrace. You make me lose my head.” I brushed her hair back from her forehead.
“I—I haven’t cheated on you. Ever. Even though you piss me off.”
“And you don’t think every time you handed me another set of those fucking annulment papers I blew a gasket?”
“You used me,” she said, voice rising.
“You’re ashamed of being married to me,” I fired back. “When I told our families, you looked like you wanted to die of embarrassment.”
“I should’ve been the one to tell them.”
“Seven months was long enough. Don’t act like you ever had any intention of telling them a damn thing. You said it, I’m your mistake.”
“You. Used. Me.”
Our noses were so close, everything became a blur except the fire in her eyes. “Before yesterday, that thought never entered your mind.”
“What?”
“That wasn’t why I married you. I wanted to marry—”
“I know what you did.”What?
My nostrils flared as we went round and round in circles. “How many times can I say it? I wanted to marry you, damn it.”
A sharp intake of her breath was the only sound for a full five seconds.
