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“I'll keep that in mind.”
We played musical chairs, and I moved to the spot my sister had vacated. Gabriel crawled into my lap. I hesitated, unsure what to do. My experience with children was limited. He didn't notice, making himself at home on my thighs, his back settling against my torso. Was that normal? For a young child to accept a stranger into his world? I didn’t believe Holly hadn’t taught him about being careful, but this was confusing. And of all the people in this room, why me? How did he not see my darkness? The evil in my blood?
“What do we look for now?” Gabriel's cheek was against my chest as he looked at me like I had all the answers. My throat worked. A five-year-old was making me nervous. What if I said the wrong thing? Why wouldn't he stop looking at me like I was his hero? If his mother knew exactly who I was, she'd never let me near him again.
Shoving down the urge to set him on his feet and bolt from the room, I powered on the tablet. “Let's find a video on crate training.”
We wereon our third video when Holly entered the living room. Her steps faltered at the sight of her son on my lap. Her mouth screwed up in displeasure. Or was it pain?
She didn't move, simply observing me with Gabriel, and eventually I turned back to the tablet.
“Mr. Carlos?”
“What is it, Gabriel?”
“How much does a crate cost?”
“Not sure, but let's take it one step at a time, okay?” I said in encouragement, and he nodded, but I could tell he wasn't satisfied.
“But if I don't know how much it costs, I won't know how much money I need to save.”
A thickness formed in my throat, and I glanced at Holly. Her arms were folded, her expression admonishing.
“I thought we had a space shuttle to build?” she said to Gabriel, saving me from a situation I wasn't sure how to navigate. I was about two seconds from taking the boy to buy him whatever he wanted. The only other soul I'd ever known with his purity was Muriella, and that had been stolen from her. I refused to let that happen to Gabriel.
A little gasp of excitement escaped him, then he looked torn.
“You're right. I'm ready whenever you are,” I said, Holly's gaze narrowing on me. I was going to take that look heated with anger and turn it into one with desire. Because there was no husband—no one at all—standing in my way.
“I was talking to Gabriel,” she said.
“Mr. Carlos can help us too.” Gabriel bolted out of my lap and stood by the chair, waiting for me to get up.
I eased to my feet, set the tablet on the coffee table, and gestured for Holly to lead the way. Gabriel grabbed her hand and then mine. Even though he'd done it before, the feel of his fingers clutching mine caught me off guard. The sight of the human chain we formed was far too pleasing for my liking. Holly was right. I didn't know anything about kids, how attached they got, but I had to make a decision and quick. Go all in or leave them the fuck alone.
Chapter Ten
Holly
I triedto keep up my pissed-off façade, but watching Carlos with my son made it hard. Gabriel was happy by nature, though Carlos brought something out in him I wasn't sure I'd ever really seen from my boy. He drank in everything about the dark stranger who’d walked into our lives only a day ago. The two of them together were a vision. Seeing it made me feel guilty about something I could never give him.
Gabriel was well-adjusted without a father, never seemed to notice he didn't have one, but I saw how hungry he was for a relationship with a man he could call Daddy. He was too young to know it, but as his mother, I knew. I was doing my damnedest to be two people at once, but I often fell short. At the end of the day, I was only a woman. Before I’d seen Gabriel interacting with Carlos, I’d thought I was doing a pretty good job, but there was a void that would only get worse as he grew older. And Gabriel hadn’t reacted with the same hunger toward Stone or Daniel—or any other man, for that matter—as he did Carlos. Only the dark-headed stranger had my son’s attention. Even though I sensed the danger in Carlos, it was easy to picture him as a dad and a husband. He dredged up yearnings I’d had longer than I could remember by appearing to be everything I’d ever wanted in a man.
As curious as Gabriel was, it stunned me he'd never inquired about his father. He was intuitive. I thought he sensed the topic was off-limits, though that would only last so long. One day, he would want answers I didn't want to give him. I didn't lie to my son, and I was afraid there would come a time when I'd have to.
I'd rather Gabriel think I didn't know his father’s identity than to tell him the truth because someday he would try to have a relationship with the man who refused to believe he had a son. That was how Gabriel was. I couldn't stand to think about how that rejection would hurt my baby. It would crush him, and I'd rather die than have that happen.
“Mama, I need a red piece.”
Gabriel dragged me from the thoughts that plagued me often. I reached over and handed him the Lego he wanted. “One more, and then it's time for bed,” I said, and his face fell but only for a moment.
“White, please.” Happily, he put the piece in place and then stood, holding both hands out to help me off the floor. Carlos’s eyes filled with surprise as he noticed the gesture. I was raising a gentleman, a man who would respect women and people in general.
“Go brush your teeth.”
“Will you read my story to me, Mr. Carlos?” I threatened Carlos with a look. We didn't need to start something that would only lead to Gabriel being confused.
“Sure.” He got to his feet and gave him a smile I'd only seen him use toward my son.
