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She darted her gaze back toward Gabriel’s room and lowered her voice. “Just before Christmas, some men came by my house looking for Jason. They told me he had until Friday to pay or Gabriel and I would . . .” She swallowed hard. “Miss Jacobs came by a couple of days later with the news about the move to New York. I don’t know what I’d have done . . .”
She clutched the cross around her neck. I resisted the urge to go to Houston, find these motherfuckers who threatened her, and make certain they never so much as thought of her or Gabriel again.
“It’s awful when it’s a relief your own brother is back in jail,” she said before I could respond. “It means he’s not dead. That’s the call I know is yet to come.”
I collected her in an embrace and pressed her head to my chest. She wound her arms around my waist and clung to me like she desperately needed an anchor.
“I’d pay for rehab, but he has to want to do it on his own,” she said into my chest. “How did he ever have a chance when we’ve been around drugs our whole lives?”
Dread descended fast and furious. When she’d said sober, I’d hoped she meant alcohol. Of course it was drugs that had a noose around his neck.
What had me really nervous was how she would react when she found out what I was. Because of men like me, her brother was addicted to a substance that wouldn't let him go and caused her undeserved heartache and stress. The business that sustained my family had destroyed hers. Though I hadn't personally sold her brother whatever he was hooked on, I felt responsible for the position Holly was in now because of him.
I clutched Holly more tightly. When she discovered the truth about me—and she would because the truth always had a way of coming to light—she would hate me. She'd distanced herself from her own brother because he was a danger to her son. I was the leader of the largest cartel in Central America, and though I'd taken it down to nothing, most of my rivals didn't know that. Whether I wanted that position or not, it was the one I'd inherited. Until today, I'd shunned it, but I realized I might need to use the power that came along with the title.
“Beauty, sometimes the right thing is the most difficult to do.”
“It feels horrible,” she choked out. “He's my brother. His choices are his own, but somehow, I feel like whether he lives or dies is in my hands. That's why I always leave him in jail. I thought he'd be safer there. Maybe stay clean long enough for it to stick this time.”
“What happens to your brother is up to him. I don't doubt for one second you've done all you can to help him. We're taught blood means everything, that because of it we have a responsibility to stick by our family no matter what they do, even if it costs us everything. But that's not true. You're putting Gabriel first, and that’s no reason for you to feel one ounce of guilt. Do you understand me?”
She nodded, her emerald eyes sad. “That could have so easily been me,” she whispered, lowering her chin in defeat.
“Choices, Holly. At the end of the day, we're responsible for our own.”
Her face contorted in pain, and she shook her head as if I didn't understand what I was saying. “Our parents are addicts. My mother says she only smoked weed when she was pregnant with me, but I know she did harder stuff while she was carrying my brother. I might have only been four, but I remember.” Her eyes were haunted. “I tried to keep my brother away from drugs. We even lived with people from a church for a while. But I failed. He was ten the first time I caught him smoking a joint. I was hardly in a position to scold him when he was doing it with our parents.”
Fuck me. The hatred I felt toward myself grew exponentially closer to what I felt for my father. I knew better than anyone what the clutches of addiction felt and looked like. My family had preyed on that very thing. And what kind of people let their children around that stuff at such a young age?
“It's not your fault,” I soothed, though she didn't believe me. “I'm so sorry. So very sorry.”
“Why? You didn't make my family the way they are,” she mumbled.
A sick feeling of dread washed over me. Maybe not her family, but others. I rubbed her back and kissed her hair until her breathing evened out, and I still didn't want to let her go. Her body against mine felt too right, and as much as I was holding Holly to comfort her, it was for me too. I had done nothing to help her with her problems, yet she made me feel needed. As if my support was keeping her grounded.
The answer as to the best way to handle her brother wasn't a simple one. Shipping him off to rehab would do no good if it wasn't what he wanted, and even if I somehow got him out of that environment and set him on the path to being clean, it was no guarantee he’d stay straight. If I left him in Houston and he died, she'd never forgive herself. Why should I help a man I didn't know? Insert myself into problems that were best left alone, especially when I had enough of my own? It didn’t make sense at all. But when I thought back to Stone’s face earlier today when he’d fought to make sure his wife would be safe, I felt the same determination. Need. The woman in my arms had become so important to me.She is mine.So I would enter the fight on her behalf.
Because I would do anything to make my Beauty's world as perfect as I could. Maybe I felt her brother deserved a second chance—or a third or fourth. If he could be redeemed, there was hope I could be.
Chapter Twenty
Holly
“Have a good day, baby.”
Gabriel waved and smiled as he trotted down the sidewalk toward the new school. He was fine. I was the nervous wreck.
A strong arm slipped around my shoulders and pulled me in for a side hug. “He’ll do great.”
I looked up at Carlos, who was still laser focused on the door of Saint Pius where Gabriel had just disappeared inside of. Did he sound . . . nervous?
“I know.” And I did. The protective side of me wanted to make sure my son had me within arm’s reach if he needed me.
As a little girl, I'd always imagined being a stay-at-home mom who baked cookies and had supper on the table at six every evening. Those notions hadn't come from a real-life example. I wanted the exact opposite of what I'd had. Also tangled up in that fantasy was an all-consuming romance with a man I couldn't function without, someone who thought of me as the center of his world. Things hadn't played out like that at all. Not even close.
I wanted more time with Gabriel, but I also loved my job. It was difficult to picture not working for Miss Jacobs, and I'd been close to finding out exactly what that would be like. She'd taken care of Gabriel's schooling and afforded me a position that made sure I wouldn't have to worry about where our next meal was coming from or how I would put a roof over our heads.
Carlos gave my shoulders a squeeze, those dark eyes penetrating when he met mine. “Shall we get you to the office?”
