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I jumped out of the car and jogged around to the passenger side.
Her steps faltered when she saw me, her expression unreadable. Gabriel's reaction to my presence had been far more favorable, but Holly and I would get there.
“Hi.” She had a shyness about her that drew me in, but I loved how that disappeared under my touch.
As if reading my thoughts, she blushed. I touched her cheek. “Beauty.”
A little gasp escaped her, but she peered around me to see inside the window, looking for her son as if unaffected. I opened the door, and she hopped into the passenger seat.
“Hi, Mama.”
She turned and looked through to the back seat. “Hey, baby. How was school?”
“Good.”
I went back around and got in to drive Holly and Gabriel home.Theirhome. For a small moment, a picture of this being my normal—collecting Gabriel and Holly from school and work—flitted through my mind. But I knew I wasn’t happily-ever-after material . . .yet.
When Gabriel had suggested I marry his mama, my immediate reaction had been joy. But I wasn’t a typical man. I didn’t grow up in America and know what a true family man looked like. I knew manipulation, darkness, murder, the most untold, violent things men could do to others. I saw my dead father in a mirror only a few days ago.Fucked up didn’t cover who I was. But maybe . . . maybe that could change.
“We've got your chocolate fix,” Gabriel was saying when I closed the car door.
I picked up the drink from the cup holder and offered it to Holly. “I was told this was your favorite. Sorry, it's a little melted.”
“I like it better that way.” Her lips closed around the straw, and as she sucked, images I didn't need to be thinking about in front of a child caused me to shift in my seat. Holly collapsed with satisfaction. “That is just what I needed,” she declared, taking another pull on the straw. “That and my boys.” She immediately realized what she'd said, and I fought to keep from grinning. Her face flamed, and she hid behind the milkshake.
Gabriel proceeded to recap his day, telling her all about his teacher and the new friend. Absently, I reached across the console and put my hand on her thigh in a show of support. She tensed beneath me, then relaxed as she and Gabriel continued their conversation. Once again, he'd leveled me by asking Holly about her day like he was a boy three times his age. Gabriel put others first, and his mama was at the top of that list. A five-year-old and his mother were quickly becoming my heroes.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Holly
I couldn't believeI'd screwed up so badly by calling Carlos one of my boys. It had been a slip of the tongue.
But as I watched him give some of his tortilla strips to Gabriel, I knew that was a lie.
He'd touched me, and instantly, I thought of him as mine. Maybe I wasn't capable of meaningless sex, like I'd believed I was. Except it couldn't be meaningless when I actually had feelings for the man I was becoming intimate with. Although we hadn’t actually had sex, we’d definitely come to a different level in our need for one another. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel once he was inside me. When we made love.
I was exhausted, but my mind had been working furiously over ways to make that happen. Like tonight. It felt selfish, as if I was betraying Gabriel by wanting to spend time with anyone else for personal satisfaction. That was silly. It was okay for me to do something for myself, but it went against my nature, since Gabriel was the center of my world, and his happiness was first and foremost.
He seemed as happy as I could ever remember. He was thriving around other people, even if the majority of his time was spent around adults. I was so proud of him for engaging with them and impressed by his bravery. He was the center of attention, and maybe I was misjudging, but everyone had taken to him. I'd feared we'd be a burden, but there was no sign of that whatsoever.
Carlos finished his soup and set his spoon down. “I'll go run your bath,” he said.
“You don’t have to do that.” The protest was halfhearted. A long bath was exactly what I needed.
Gabriel and I cleared the table and did the dishes. A few minutes later, Carlos sauntered back into the kitchen as we were finishing up.
“Everything's ready for you,” he said quietly before stooping to eye level with Gabriel. “Why don't you and I hang out? Then we'll get everything ready for school tomorrow, and I'll read you a story before bed.”
“Can we play soccer?”
“Not in the house,” Carlos said, looking at me for approval to play outside.
“Thirty minutes,” I said. “And put on your coat and gloves.”
“Thanks, Mama.” He rushed off to get his outerwear.
“Beauty?” he said as I stepped around him. “Don't take one of my orgasms.”
