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I kissed his cheek and his nose. One corner of his mouth lifted, and I kissed that too before I tucked my head underneath his chin and snuggled against him.
His arms were the most dangerous place I’d ever been and yet the safest. I was afraid when the time came, I wouldn’t be able to leave them. He was right. I didn’t need to forget. I wanted to remember every single second of this right here.
“Carlos?”
I squinted, the lights now dimmed above us, though not completely out. He still held me, those dark eyes tired as he stared. Our heads were on the same pillow.
“Beauty,” he whispered. That single word was a vise around my heart. He’d told me he loved me, and as unbelievable as that seemed, I felt it.
“Have you slept?”
“No.”
I curled my hand around his neck and stroked his pulse point. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time, didn’t have to. The weight of all we faced was heavy, but after a few hours of just being, I felt rejuvenated, like we could conquer whatever lay ahead.
We.
Not I, but we.
He lifted my right hand and kissed the center of my palm as he had before. “In some cultures, that signifies the start of a joining. They are considered married even without a ceremony.”
My mind spun at the implication. “Are you proposing?”
“Yes.”
I blinked at him. It didn’t seem real, but his expression was serious. Even though I had blocked him out when he asked about Gabriel’s father, and whether he was in the picture, he’d stayed. Even though I’d told him to leave, he’d been there, supporting me both emotionally and physically. He was well aware my life was far from simple, yet he wants me.He wants . . . us.He was from a world my son would have no part of. He was a man being chased by a drug lord and killer. And he was so much more than I’d ever dreamed a man could be. I loved him with every part of my being.
I attacked him with kisses, landing them anywhere on his face I could find. He pulled me on top of him and let me do as I pleased. His hands planted on my hips as fresh desire washed over me.
I needed to show him how I felt, how much I wanted his promise of a future even if we couldn’t have one right now.
I reached for a condom from the nightstand and rolled it down his thick shaft. He positioned me so I hovered above it, though I was fully in control. Everything I needed to know stared up at me. His eyes were open and honest. Every ounce of love, pain, and regret was there for me to see.
The words I was desperate to tell him got lodged in my throat. I sank down on top of him and stilled.Remember. And as I moved, answering his proposal with my body, I recorded in my mind how his hair was disheveled. Every line on his handsome face. How he felt, inside and out.
Fairy tales weren’t carriages and castles and fairy godmothers.
They were two paths of battle scars and mistakes and imperfection that led to each other and became one.
After I found my prince, I’d always pictured our happily ever after would come easy. The loving him part had, but if I wanted the rest, we’d have to fight together. From day one, Carlos had an unwavering commitment to me, to Gabriel, to his sister. He tore down a wall that I erected from the pain of my past. I’d never met someone who was there for me, justfor me. My parents, my brother, my relatives, no one was there only for me. And Carlos, in this short time, had been and would be for as long as I wanted him.
The time was now—together we’d fight those who were trying to bring us down, trying to tear us apart. And there was one thing I was now more certain of than ever before . . . I was ready to go to war for the ones I loved.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Carlos
“I’m not leaving.”
I had to be mistaken, but Donato appeared proud at my adamancy. That was unexpected, given that yesterday, he’d been determined I had to leave. I understood the reasoning. Muriella, Holly, and Gabriel’s safety came first.
“I never said it had to be permanent.”
“I’m not leaving them.”
Last night had solidified I wasn’t going anywhere. I had to stay and fight with Holly. For her. And for our future.
