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We arrived at the top floor, and I reached for his hand, tugging him out and up the stairs as Holly had directed. As soon as we were up on the roof, Drew yanked his hand from mine.
“I’m sorry,” I said, following him to the ledge. “I was furious with you, and yeah, some sick part of me liked that you were flailing. I didn’t think about how it would affect your mother.”
Drew spun around, enraged. “Of course you didn’t. The only person you ever think about is you.”
“Like you’re any different,” I yelled back. His mouth clamped shut. “Drew—”
“I think this has run its course,” he said. “Get the fuck away from me.”
He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and tapped one out, as casually as the first time I’d seen him do it. Drew was back in control. This was the version who pretended he felt nothing and not a thing mattered to him.
“Say whatever you need to, if it makes you feel better. But even if I go away, I won’t be gone. Not here.” I pointed at his chest, and he looked down and back up incredulously.
“Wow. Playing the feelings card to stay a little longer. That won’t work. I don’t feel anything.”
“The hell you don’t. I see how you treat your mother. I heard what you said about not being able to have children. Youfeelthat, because you wanted them. And I think you stole from your family because you felt something. You feel hurt—”
“Shut your mouth.” He took a long drag, and I fought the urge to rip the crutch out of his fingers and stamp it out, so he’dhearme.
Even in my rage downstairs, I’d seen the effect Gabriel had on him and that he had on his son. He didn’t even realize it. “That kid needs you.”
He grabbed my arms, shaking me. “Never,eversay that again.”
“It’s the truth. You need him too.” I gripped his shoulders, but he shrugged me off.
“You wouldn’t know truth if it hit you in the face,” he spat, releasing me.
“I shouldn’t have meddled without talking to you first,” I said, my voice low. I blinked at him, desperate to break through to him somehow.
He lifted the cigarette to his lips, casually tilting his face up when he blew smoke out through his mouth. “Sweetheart, for being so good at the game you play, you’ve missed the mark this time. It’s best to cut your losses. Although I’d kind of like to string you along a little further, just to see the look on your face when you figure out I don’t have any money. I’m not going to be your sugar daddy. I’m broke. B-R-O-K-E. So you don’t have to pretend or use whatever tricks you do to stick around.” His lip curled into a sardonic smile.
Drew had looked at me with indifference before, but I’d neverfeltit. I’d mattered to him, even when he pretended I didn’t. His nonchalance made me shiver.
“I don’t care,” I said, realizing I meant that. How much money he had didn’t matter to me. I borderline hated the man, yet I was already assessing what I could sell to get us down the road.
“Stop it. You think I don’t see through your bullshit? You were using me, just as I was using you. That’s what people like us do.” He rested his ass against the ledge and glared at me.
“Maybe so, but you’ve changed me.” I took a step closer and lifted my hand to touch him. I dropped it at the disgust on his face.
“No. We never change.” He snorted, the ironic sound cutting through the night.
“I’m not the same.” I pleaded with him to see me. We could get past this. I caressed his cheek, and he flinched. I ignored the pain that seized my chest. “It’ll be easier together. We can figure it out. Fight them however we have to.”
He stared at me blankly. “There’s nothing to fight for,” Drew said with a note of finality. “Now go on. I’ve gotten what I need from you.”
“You’ll need more,” I promised, but I wasn’t so sure.
“Not for a while. That coin was worth quite a bit more than you estimated.”
“What do you mean?”
He gave me the most insincere smile I’d ever seen. “You were right. I had the means to sell it, so I did.”
For one second, I didn’t believe him, but then I saw that same gleam of triumph I’d given him when he’d sought me out for comfort downstairs. I’d gloated, orchestrated the entire thing, and he’d already fucked me over. I still felt guilty for what I’d done, but I told myself it was because of Loretta, not him. The money didn’t even matter anymore. I’d taken the coin for the thrill anyway.
“I can’t say we can call it even, but I guess we’re squared away. If we stay around one another, neither of us will stop until there’s nothing left.” My stupid feet wouldn’t move. I was freezing but couldn’t stand the sight of him any longer. It was best to cut my losses, yet I wished he’d give me a reason to stay. The lying side of me said it was so I could get him back. I wouldn’t even entertain one thought from the truthful side. If I did, under the I-told-you-so,I’d feel some things I didn’t like. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Why are you still standing there?” Drew asked.
