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She returned her focus to the dishes, the whirring of her brain practically creating a windstorm in the kitchen. Baker had grown unusually silent, and when I tried to catch her eye, she gave a discreet shake of her head in anot nowgesture.
“What time?” Cricket finally said.
“Eight.”
“Okay. We finished here?” She set down a mixing bowl as Baker turned off the water.
“Yeah. Thanks for the help.”
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she mumbled before slinking out of the room.
Baker waited a beat before she let out a heavy sigh. “She’s got track marks all over her arm.” She dried off her hands. “Fresh ones.”
I leaned against the counter, at a loss. “How do we help her?”
“We can’t. She has to do it herself.”
I thought about the gaunt face and sunken eyes. She was barely there, her clothes several sizes too big. Everything about her was familiar. When I’d arrived, I’d been in a similar state, though I’d never been drugged. That would’ve been too great a mercy for my husband. He wanted me aware of every single thing that happened.
“Let’s try to be vigilant. Mrs. Quinn could require her to go into treatment to stay here, but I’m not sure that’s the best thing at this point.”
When Baker looked at Cricket, she saw herself . . . as I did. All the residents were one another in some way. We may have been through different things, but there was a common recognition among us. We’d all arrived broken. No one was perfect. No one judged. No one rejected. Maybe that was why we felt safe here.
“There’s something else I need to tell you,” she said hesitantly. “I called Holt.”
“To ask him out?” I blinked at her. She could be aggressive, but I hadn’t decided if she liked him or hated him.
“To find out about Andrew.”
“Oh.” I sagged against the counter, unsure if I wanted to hear this.
“They spent the day getting shit-faced.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t seem like Andrew.” Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded. I didn’t really know him. Except I did. He wouldn’t do that without reason.Was I that reason?
“I think if you’d done just about anything but be married, he’d have stayed. Holt didn’t give any explanation, only that it’s a no-go for his brother.”
Strangely enough, I admired that about him. His loyalty was one of the things I liked most.
“I get it.” And I did. It still hurt, but I didn’t blame him one bit. I’d lied about two huge things and had another that I hadn’t even hinted at. Wasn’t sure I could ever address.
“I told Holt everything wasn’t black and white. He said he figured as much, but Andrew has his convictions.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, but he’s done.”
I’d known that from the second I’d told him the truth. It was in his eyes, pure and raw hurt that couldn’t be undone.
“Thanks for trying.”
“I had to.” She pulled me in for a hug. “I understand why he feels the way he does, but this time he’s wrong. You should tell him what happened.”
“No. I need to let him go. He deserves to live a life free of my past. I won’t dump it on him in hopes of getting him back. That’s not fair.”
“Okay.” Baker gave me one last squeeze before she released me. “Any word about Huxley?”
Fear pierced me, but I ignored it. “Not a word. I’m still in shock that he’s out there somewhere. After what he did to me, how could anyone think he should be free?”
“Lawyers and corrupt judges,” she said with disgust. I was beginning to believe her view of our justice system was right when I’d been counting on it to save me.
“I want the divorce so badly. It’s a mistake to pursue it now, but I feel like as long as we’re still legally bound, I’ll never be free.” I’d managed to forget my husband for a good portion of most days, but he was always still with me. I wanted to be rid of him forever.
