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“Yeah. I’m sorry this didn’t work out the way you planned,” I said softly. “It’s been perfect.”
“I didn’t feed you.”
I held up my index finger. “There’s plenty to eat in the truck.” I pointed at Delores who was hooked up to the wrecker.
“I have an idea.” Andrew popped up and jogged over to Ed and Holt. He motioned his father and me over. “We’ll all ride to the garage. We can eat there.”
“Son, take the lady out to dinner,” Mr. Dixon said.
Andrew poked out his bottom lip. “But she’s got the best food in the city.”
I swelled with pride at the compliment. Mr. Dixon shrugged. “Can’t argue with that. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve a nice meal.”
“Anywhere you want to go, Bright Side?” Andrew asked, his attention landing on me.
“Eating at the garage sounds good. I’m too tired to fool with going out. And I’m not really dressed for it, either.” I looked down at my T-shirt and jeans. I hadn’t realized I had a couple of stains on my top.
“You look beautiful,” Andrew said, and I dropped my gaze to the ground.
“To the garage it is.” Mr. Dixon opened the door to the truck and climbed in like he did it every day.
Holt followed and then Andrew, who held out his hand to help me up. “Mind sitting on my lap?”
“No.” I hoisted into the cab, though my nerves threatened to get the best of me. I perched on Andrew’s thighs and sat ram-rod straight. His arms wound around my waist, and I tensed.
“Just making sure you don’t slide off,” he whispered in my ear.
I relaxed back into him and focused on the street ahead. The last time I’d been in this position, I’d been naked and it was against my will.
“Stay the fuck still, Trish. Daddy’s not hurting you. You love me, remember? Don’t scream, Trish. Daddy needs to be inside you, and then because you misbehaved, the lights will go out.” I whimpered. No, not anymore.
The roar of the truck engine was nothing compared to the noise in my head. I fought the memories. Tried not to shudder with the memories of wandering, evil hands. The memories were all darkness.Black. Pain. Darkness. Cold.
“You cold, Trish? You’re shivering.”
Go to your place of peace. Go to your sunshine.
“Trish? You all right?”
Go to your place of peace.I heard my therapist’s advice for when the dark thoughts invaded. I pictured Ella. Her goofy smile and infant babble. The way she insisted on being heard. Would that translate as she got older? If the way she was now was any indication, she was going to be a chatty person.
“What’s so funny? A moment ago you were shivering. Everything okay?” Andrew asked.
I angled to face him, though it was awkward. I ended up brushing against Holt, but I briefly closed my eyes to fight the sensation of panic. Ella. She grounded me once more.
“Just thinking about my day.”You shouldn’t lie.I reminded myself that I’d decided to wait to tell him about Ella being mine anyway. Advertising my daughter to just anyone wasn’t a possibility, though what he’d done for me this afternoon definitely shifted him firmly in the column of trustworthy.
“Funny how they end up so different than how we plan sometimes,” he said.
“Exactly.”
“This is closer than I ever wanted to be to you, dude,” Holt said.
He was sandwiched between his brother and his father, both of whom had walked too. With his muscular frame, it was close quarters. All three men had their long legs jammed in the floorboard.
“It’s not much farther,” Mr. Dixon reassured him in a fatherly voice.
“Thank God.”
