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“Are you with me?” There was an edge of uncertainty in his voice I didn’t like.
I fiddled with his fingers. “It’s hard for me.” He tensed as I tried to collect my thoughts. “There are times when I feel guilty, even before you, that I’m here and he’s not.”
“Survivor’s guilt.”
I rolled my mouth to the side. “Maybe. Whatever you want to call it, it’s heavy.”
“And I can’t carry it for you,” he concluded.
“You understand me so well.” Even now it boggled my mind.
“Where does that leave us?”
“Where do you want it to?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Are you still angry with me for not automatically having your back?”
He pushed a lock of hair from my face. “Do I seem mad?”
“How can you forgive me so easily?”
“I’m thinking one day I’ll need your forgiveness too.” He nuzzled my nose.
“But—”
He put a finger up to my lips. “This thing happened while I was in jail. I had a lot of time to think.” Patrick paused, and I smacked him in the arm. He grinned before his expression turned serious. “I tried to put myself in your position. Maybe I didn’t like your initial reaction, but as soon as you found out I was in jail, you came. And apologies aren’t really your thing, so that counted for a lot too.”
“Shithead asshole fucker.” I fought a smile.
“They aren’t. I figure since you went to all the trouble, you must’ve meant it. And if I can’t learn to forgive, what kind of man does that make me? What kind of father will I be if can’t teach that to our kids?”
I rested my forehead against his temple. “You’re already a good father.”
“I’m trying. But I wasn’t finished. I thought about some other things too.”
“You did have a lot of time.”
He tickled my ribs. I squirmed until his hands landed on my stomach again. “There’s something about you, Wicked. As much as you piss me off, you make me a thousand times happier. When you and Blake aren’t here, it’s empty.I’mempty.”
“Damn it. You can’t say stuff like that.” I sniffled.
He tipped my chin up. “It’s true. And where’s the fun in a smooth road anyway?”
“I’d kinda like a smooth road.”
“Then we’ll try.” He brushed his lips across mine. “I love you.”
My chest tightened. “Any chance you’ve got room here for a pain in the ass and an adorable toddler?”
He shifted so my body was angled into his. “You’d move here?”
“Yeah.”
“But what about—”
“That life is gone, no matter how I tried to hold on to it.”
