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Shock. Then horror. Then pity. Then . . . I didn’t know what the last one was, but it changed something between us.
Maybe it was a loss of respect.
I slammed the freezer door.
“Who wants ice?”
Was I trying to be falsely cheerful for the dogs or me? They could see through me, but I didn’t want to project my bad mood onto them.
A piece of paper floated to the floor from the ferocity of the slam. It landed face up.
An old note of Vivian’s ideas for the adoption event.
I stomped on it.
All the sweet faces I loved scampered toward me, eager for the ice. I tossed a piece to Sadie before she could bark.
As the sound of crunching grew louder as they all chomped away, I knew what I had to do.
These dogs were our family. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to have everything they needed.
And they did right here.
I slid down the cabinets to the floor. A free-for-all ensued with the ice.
My eyes stung.
Muffy licked the side of my face with his cold tongue.
“Do you want to go anywhere? To a new home?” My voice was watery.
He put a possessive paw on my leg.
I blinked hard to hold back the tears. The weight of everything pressed heavy on my shoulders.
Vivian’s heart was in the right place. It was mine that was wrong.
My irritation wasn’t at her or the adoption event. It was at myself.
I was embarrassed over this morning. I was angry we’d had to place some of our dogs in someone else’s care.
I was scared Teague would disappear from our lives as quickly as he entered.
Sadie nudged the bowl out of my hands and crawled into my lap. She licked at my face.
I hugged her fiercely.
“I can’t lose you,” I said into her neck.
I found myself surrounded by all of them. They licked and sniffed and pawed at me in support.
Because they understood me better than anyone.
They were my safe place.
And lately our safe bubble felt penetrated.
This changes nothing.
