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I went cold inside. “I hate them. And I hate them even more for making me hate them.”
Something in his eyes told me he understood that.
“Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if my mother hadn’t died.” There was a sadness in his words that spoke of pain and loss.
“Sometimes I wish my parentsweredead,” I whispered. It was an awful thought. One I was ashamed of.
Shit for brains. Shit for brains.
And that was all it took to erase that shame. No one should speak that way to anyone. Ever. Especially not a father to his son.
“I can’t imagine what that unburdening would feel like.” He adjusted the sheet. “I don’t think I’ll ever be free of him.”
“Why do you have anything to do with him? Teague doesn’t.”
“Because an unoccupied Samuel Hollingsworth is a dangerous man. If he has too much time to think, I don’t know what kind of torment he’d put Beau and Teague through. I never intend to find out.”
I placed a hand on his stomach. “You can’t live your life to protect them.”
Slowly, he rolled his head toward me. “The way you do?”
It was different. Eric needed support in ways his brother and sister didn’t.
“That’s not fair and you know it.”
“You had a choice, and by all means I believe it was the right one, but you didn’t have to step into the role you have.” Respect infused every syllable.
“I don’t see that I had an option at all. I’d die before I’d let Eric be left to the state or anyone else.” I hadn’t done anything extraordinary by ensuring Eric would be cared for. I did what anyone in my position should have done.
He put a hand on my hip. “You . . .”
I waited for him to finish his thought, but he searched my face as if he hoped I could do it for him.
“I’ve never had a problem articulating my thoughts, but with you . . . it’s difficult. Every day you make me feel something I never have before. And I don’t know how to put any of it into words.” His grip on my hip tightened.
He was wrong. He knew exactly how to say what he felt. It was me who couldn’t take his sweetness. How could he be the same man I’d verbally sparred with so many times?
I’d never have imagined just how big his heart was, and every time he showed it to me it was like a sucker punch.
I had the urge to scoot closer and run as far and fast as I could all at the same time. His intensity was so much to take in. I wanted it, but this was all new territory for me too.
“I don’t think you have any problem articulating at all,” I said quietly. Even his silence spoke volumes.
“I think I might lose everything I’ve worked for,” he said hoarsely.
We were ping-ponging from topic to topic so fast it was hard to keep up. But it made me see that he trusted me. He was opening his heart and mind . . . No wonder I loved this man.
“Did something happen?” I didn’t have nearly as much at stake, but my arrest had helped me to understand somewhat how he felt.
“Just a gut feeling.”
“Is there anything you can do about it?” As soon as I asked the question, I realized I’d saidyou. Not we. Like it was his burden alone to bear.
He’d been there for me through everything lately, and I hadn’t given him the same support. It didn’t matter that I didn’t knowhowto help him keep what he’d worked for. If I loved him as I said I did, I shouldn’t ever leave him on an island to fend for himself alone. But I could support him, even if it was by providing a sounding board.
“Zegas is working to rectify the situation, but there are too many fires burning at one time. We’re surrounded.”
“Is the apartment the worst thing?”
