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You can do this, Lexie.
My finger hovered over the play button. There were too many more messages to count. But I had to keep pushing.
Another potential customer.
My confidence grew with every message that wasn’t related to my parents.
By number five, I’d stopped holding my breath.
“Baby doll, we can work this out. You know what to do.”
I dropped the phone onto the bed like it had scalded me. No, I didn’t know what to do.
I was tempted to delete the message but didn’t in case I could use it to build a case against them.
I hit play on the next one.
“Stop avoiding your daddy, baby doll. You ain’t too old for that closet.”
I put a hand to my throat. It had happened so long ago, but the memories were as fresh as if it had only been minutes.
The next message was more dead air, but it brought me no relief. My heart beat erratically, and I was nauseated.
“How are you gonna take care of your brother if you’re in jail?”
“Daddy has a surprise for you.”His voice sing-songed in my ear, turning my stomach.
“You always were a stubborn little bitch when it came to that shit for brains. Call. Me. Back.”
“I see you’ve moved into that fancy apartment. Maybe you did take after your mama. But you must be a lot better than she was.”
I threw the phone down again and raced to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I vomited. My head felt like it split in two with the effort, causing me to get sick again.
When it seemed like it was over, I folded my arms on the toilet seat and rested my forehead on them. Completely and totally exhausted. I didn’t care I was on a toilet.
The accusation . . . it cut so deep I wasn’t sure the wound would ever heal. He shouldn’t have the power to hurt me anymore, but he did.
I hadn’t slept with Lincoln. I’d barely flirted with him. Yet here I was, shacking up in his expensive apartment when I hardly knew him. And I’d been willing to take my clothes off for him. We just hadn’t had another opportunity.
Iwasmy mother’s daughter.
I heaved all over again.
Except I wasn’t with Lincoln because I wanted anything more than him. This opulence and his wealth meant nothing to me. I did want stability, but not in the financial form.Iwould take care of that. In terms of a steady relationship, he and I could work on that together. As partners.
Did he think I wanted him for his money?
It had to be in the back of his mind anytime someone showed interest in him. If I were him it would be. But he’d been so generous with us. With his time and space.
My mother had sold her body to anyone willing to pay.
I didn’t want to give mine to anyone but Lincoln. And now, they’d tainted that for me. Because if the time came for intimacy, I’d think of my father’s words.
I couldn’t live with Lincoln ever thinking I’d used him.
“Lexie?” His worried face appeared in the lavatory. “Are you sick?”
“I’ll be fine.” My voice was strained and scratchy.
