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I bumped my knee on the corner of the mattress as I rounded it, but managed to make it to her empty spot.
It was a mistake.
The pillow already smelled like her. Something I’d never been able to figure out exactly what it was. There was a hint of sweet mixed with . . . spicy. Not that overbearing floral perfume crap that was strong enough to make a man gag.
“Put your hand on my stomach.”
This time, there was a beat of hesitation, but her heat shifted toward me, and her hand singed my stomach through my shirt.
I settled the ice pack on top of her hand and sucked in when the cold pierced my skin.
I’d never admit it, but she was right. She may damn well get frostbite from this.
My arm was pinned between us. It was uncomfortable as could be. Carefully, I moved, slipping it underneath her neck. I cradled her next to me, a mistake I hadn’t made in all the times I’d been with her in the past few weeks.
I felt more exposed now than I had naked. And we’d spent most of our time with no clothes on.
“Where are we going?”
There was a hint of excitement in her voice as we crept up the side stairwell of my pop’s fire station. It was mine too now. I couldn’t get used to the fact I’d finally made it through the academy.
I put a finger to my lips and squeezed her hand. It was slender and delicate and warm in mine.
If we got caught, Pop would cover for me, but if Teague found out, he’d bury me for sneaking around with his baby sister.
Some risks were worth taking.
When we reached the top of the stairs, I quietly turned the handle on the door with my free hand, barely keeping the blanket tucked under my arm in place.
The summer air was thick and hot when it hit us. If Beau minded, she didn’t say anything.
“You afraid of heights?” I looked up the metal ladder affixed to the exterior brick.
She gave me a look like I was ridiculous and climbed the tiny rungs in high heels like it was her job. When she stepped over the top, I followed.
She spun, taking in the view of the Bronx. We weren’t skyscraper high. The station wasn’t even the tallest building around. But it was like being above the city while still right in the middle of it.
I spread out the blanket and tugged her down with me. She was too fancy to be lying on an old blanket on the rooftop, yet she did it with grace and elegance. Just like she did everything else.
I lay back and opened my arm. She snuggled against me, and I forgot about how hot it was or that my shift started at seven in the morning or my rent was three days late.
I couldn’t focus on anything but her.
“My pop brought me up here when I was a kid.” I’d thought it was the most special place in the world. With five other brothers, it was hard to get time to myself with him. But he’d made it for all of us. And this was our spot.
I’d never shared it with anybody. Never thought to.
“The stars seem closer here.”
Compared to where, I didn’t know. But they were putting on a show, unobstructed by clouds and smog.
I ran my fingers up and down her side. She shivered and burrowed closer against me. Like she needed me.
For that moment, I let myself believe she did. I had nothing to offer her she didn’t already have. Nothing that she couldn’t get.
You shoulda left her alone, Cal.
Like I had a choice.
