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My stomach twisted into an unbearably tight knot waiting for the text to come through.
The text notification popped up. I had a quick debate with myself about whether or not I wanted to open it. If I didn’t open the text, I could live by the mantra, “ignorance is bliss,” and go on about my life. Then I thought, “Girl, please. Don’t nobody want to be ignorant. Ignorance is a choice. I’ve never chosen to be ignorant, and I certainly was not going to start today.”
I clicked on the text from Bird, and the picture popped up. Tara was pretty, I couldn’t deny that. She wore minimal makeup and a layered bob that rested on her shoulders. The full-length picture showed her shapely frame and full breast. Kerem is a breast man. Zooming in on the photo, I saw her flawless chocolate skin and full lips. Kerem loved full lips. She had on a pencil dress that looked like she spent a little money on it and a pair of black Louboutin’s.
She really did exist. She was not a figment of my imagination or the character in a horrible nightmare. This woman had felt my husband’s hands on her body. She had felt his lips against hers. She knew what it felt like to have him inside of her. She’d felt the muscles in his back constrict when he was about to orgasm. All the things I thought I’d never have to share with anyone else, I’d shared with her.
A tsunami of emotions hit me all at once, anger, betrayal, and rejection. Without realizing it, I began fanning myself with my hand as the room grew hotter and hotter. My mouth felt dry and pasty, and a thin sheen of sweat covered my forehead. Suddenly, a wave of nausea washed over me, which caused me to throw down my phone and rush to the bathroom. Making it to the toilet just in time, I violently hurled my stomach contents into the toilet. I sat on the floor of the bathroom for a few minutes to make sure I didn’t have any more in me. I’d gagged a couple more times, but I didn’t have anything left in me. After rinsing out my mouth, I went back to the bed and picked up my phone.
“KEY!” I heard Robin yelling as I picked the phone back up.
“I’m here,” I faintly answered.
“What happened? You scared me!” she said.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just felt sick all of a sudden. I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not okay, and you don’t have to be. After I drop the kids off at my mutt in law’s…”
“I take it from that lovely nickname that you gave Larenz’s mom that she still is not your most favorite person.”
“Nope, she needs some dick in her life, but can’t nobody stand to be around her long enough for that to happen. The only people that like her are my kids. Anyway, after I drop them off, I am coming to you. Where are you?”
“I’m at my mother’s house. I don’t really feel like any visitors, though. I just need some time to process all of this, okay?”
“I will bring you some soup. See you in a bit,” she responded then disconnected the call like she didn’t hear what I said. She always bullied me.
I examined the picture of Tara again. I put my phone on the bedside table, laid down in the bed and pulled the covers over my head. I wanted to sleep until all of this went away.
Kerem
Watching the brown liquid swirl around in the small glass, I thought back to when I first met Tara. I was attracted to her immediately, but being attracted to a woman other than my wife had never meant anything to me. I knew how to see a beautiful woman and go on about my business, but for some reason, with Tara, I didn’t do that. I wish I would’ve stopped the conversations and the working lunches before I got comfortable with her advances, but I didn’t.
“Nigga! What did you do to piss off my wife and yours?” Larenz asked after finding me in a booth at our weekly hangout.
We dapped before he slid into the booth opposite me and motioned for our normal waitress to come over.
She bounced over to the table and took his order of a double honey Jack on the rocks then bounced away.
Her energy didn’t usually bother me, but today, her cheerfulness had gotten on my nerves.
“I’m waiting for your answer. You got Robin looking at me all sideways and then when I asked her what was going on, she said ‘ask your lil’ friend.’ You know when they put lil’ in front of stuff, it’s bad,” he chuckled.
I wished I could have laughed too, but I couldn’t find humor in anything.
“Vee found out that I smashed Tara.”
“Niiiggggaaaa…that chick that we saw at the luncheon for the community center?”
I nodded.
“Wow, it seemed like she was really pushing up on you, but I didn’t think you would be dumb enough to go for it,” Larenz surmised.
The waitress returned with his drink, and I ordered another bourbon.
“It wasn’t planned, man. I just…I don’t know. I found myself in a situation, and I was dick deep before I knew it.”
“Was the pussy worth it at least?” he said, leaning over the table towards me.
