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“Key didn’t do anything…” I quickly defended.
“I know that, but she doesn’t. She thinks that you went out and found someone better than her. Someone prettier, someone smarter and someone who was better in bed.”
“None of those things are remotely true!” I yelled, not because I was mad at Larenz, but because I was angry at myself. “Tara’s not prettier, or smarter and definitely not better in bed. If Key would just talk to me without trying to do bodily harm to me, I would be able to tell her that,” I explained.
“She’s hurt. What do you expect?” Larenz asked.
“I know. I’m not blaming her, but this feels almost impossible,” I confessed. “I just want my family back. That’s it.”
I ran my hand down my face and sat back in my chair.
“Bird and I go to a marriage group once a month. We meet at a different house each time, but we eat, socialize and then we handle our issues. It’s sorta like a group marriage counseling session. I think you would benefit from it.”
“Key ain’t trying to go nowhere with me,” I answered quickly dismissing his invitation.
“I didn’t say Key. I said, you. If you want to fix the relationship, you have to work on yourself first,” Larenz said.
“How stupid would I look going to a marriage couple group by myself?”
“You wouldn’t look stupid. You would look like a man who is trying to get his family back,” Larenz said.
“I’m not feeling that,” I nodded. “I will have to figure out something else. The last thing I want is some strangers passing judgment on my life, and they don’t even know me.”
“That’s not what it is, but okay. The offer stands. The next meeting is at our house,” Larenz said while standing to his feet. “I’m out, man. Think about what I said. I also need you to fix this so my wife will stop mean mugging me. Yo’ ass gone have me sleeping on the couch, and I ain’t even did nothing,” Larenz chuckled.
Nodding in agreement like my consideration for his group counseling idea was going any further than the no I’d already formulated, I gave him dap before he left.
I didn’t want to sit down with a therapist or some counselor. I didn’t want to sit in a group and share my feelings, I wanted my wife to accept my apology so that we could move forward. I just had to figure out how to get her to do it.
3
Ihadn’t slept a lick all weekend. I didn’t have an appetite. Robin forced me to eat some soup and drink some water. After she left my parents’ house, I didn’t eat anything else. Both my mother and father checked on me several times while I was there. I just wanted to rest, so they both allowed me to rest undisturbed. I left their house late Sunday night and went home to prepare for my work week.
Walking into my house and not seeing Kerem caused me to experience physical pain. My whole body ached like I had contracted the flu or some other virus, but I didn’t have a temperature, just pain. I’d heard people say that heartbreak was a real thing, but I never figured I would experience it. I thought I’d found a gold mine in Kerem. He was handsome, successful, and he loved and cared for me like it was his mission in life to make me happy. I was happy, until now.
“Good morning, everyone,” I said to my morning staff as I entered my newest daycare location.
I’d recently opened my second location after months of construction and preparation. The second location was needed because the waitlist for my first location was at least six months long. Having the second location allowed me the space to accommodate all the children that were on the waitlist with a few spots to spare.
Rock-A-Bye Baby was a dream of mine since I was a teenager. I was trying to figure out something to do to earn a little money, and my mother suggested babysitting. It didn’t sound like a bad idea since I’d frequently babysat my sisters for my parents when they went out.
I signed up for CPR courses and volunteered at daycare centers to learn how to be a good babysitter. Our neighbors, the Cortopassi’s, gave me my first babysitting gig and I fell in love with it. They recommended me to their friends and eventually I had an excellent babysitting clientele.
After earning my degree in Early Childhood Development, I started my own daycare in my home. Eventually, I outgrew my house and moved into my first building. I’d had steady growth since I opened.
I walked through the center, spot checking the rooms before going into my office and throwing my bag onto the chair in the corner.
I’d started my regular routine of preparing a cup of green tea, going over my to-do list for the day and calling Ker…I’d just picked up my phone to call Kerem to let him know that I’d made it into work and that everything was okay. It was our routine. He would pull up the business accounts, and we would go over what needed to be paid for the week. He would prepare the checks and bring them home for my signature.
I put the phone back down. I didn’t know what to do…
I sat at my desk and pondered my next move. Should I call him? We were business partners. The business would still need to be discussed and handled, but what if I decided to divorce him? Would he take my daycares from me? Would he be entitled to half of my hard work? I had no idea how divorces worked. Would I have to rebrand my daycares since we owned them together? If I had to move out of the house, where would I go? Would he take the house and move Tara in?
I stood from my desk, bent at my waist, and took several deep breaths. I was working myself up over a bunch of possibilities.
“You are okay. You are okay,” I chanted.
After calming my breathing, I looked around my office for my bottle of aspirin. I felt a headache coming on and wanted to stop it before it started.
