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“Oh, so now you get to yell?” I asked with my hands on my hips. “Who did I fuck behind your back for you to be so upset? As a matter of fact, that doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”
“What?” he asked with his eyebrows almost touching in the center of his face.
“Fucking someone else!”
“Key, don’t get somebody fucked up on some vendetta bullshit. I’m not playing with you,” he said through his clenched jaw.
“Get out, Kerem. I’m tired of this conversation, and I am tired of you. Go spend some time with your girlfriend or something,” I said, waving him away.
“She’s not my girlfriend!” he yelled.
Before I realized what happened, I’d reached all the way back and slapped him in his face with all my might. He stumbled backward into a defensive stance while holding his cheek and glaring at me.
There was a wave of fear that rushed through me because we were not the couple that would put hands on each other. Neither one of us liked to lose, so we never started. With flared nostrils and balled fists, we silently stared at each other for several minutes. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but I wasn’t going down without a fight. His eyes filled with tears before he turned away from me and walked out the door.
My body felt devoid of energy as I crumbled to the ground bursting out with loud sobs. My entire existence was woven into Kerem’s. He’d been a constant in my life since I was thirteen years old. It felt like our relationship was over. He’d never looked at me the way he did after I hit him and he’d never walked out on me. I didn’t know which way to go from there.
4
After walking out the door and halfway to my car, I turned around to go back in but was stopped at the door by the sound of Keeva crying. Her cry wasn’t an, “I’m so mad at you,” cry, but it was a wail, coming from the deepest parts of her cutting the deepest parts of me.
I wanted to go back in and hold her until the tears stopped. I wanted to love her until the pain went away, but then reality hit me, I was the cause of all of this. I mean I knew it in theory, but hearing her cry settled it in me. You promised her that you would love and cherish her, you would forsake all others for her, but as soon as the opportunity presented itself, you did the opposite.
I returned to my car, opened the door, and sat there not knowing what my next move would be. How did I mess up this bad? What was I thinking when I did it? Why did I think I could keep this from Keeva? I should’ve told her when she asked me the first time. I should’ve just confessed and let the chips fall where they may. At least I wouldn’t have come off like I was hiding something.
Eventually, I pulled off, driving in the direction of the hotel. I made it back to my room and had a drink in my hand without recalling how any of the last fifteen or so minutes occurred.
I couldn’t believe that Keeva mentioned something about a divorce lawyer. We said we would never say that word. We’d had some knock down drag out arguments, but that word was never used, and she’d never put her hands on me.
That slap to my face surprised the hell out of me and sent me into defense mode before I’d realized it. I came back to myself almost immediately and knew it was time to walk away. If I’d made her mad enough to strike me, then nothing else I said was going to get through to her.
2001
“Congratulations, Keeva!” Everyone screamed when she walked through the doors of her parents’ house. We’d just left her high school graduation, and she rode to her parents’ house with me. We’d celebrated my graduation from high school a week before.
Her mother spared no expense in decorating, entertainment, and food for the party. I watched Keeva the entire night waiting for an opportunity to get her alone to give her the real gift I had. She probably thought the Roc-a-Wear outfit she’d opened earlier was her only gift from me, but I had a surprise for her.
The party started to wind down around midnight, and I helped her dad, Big Dell, break down all the tables and put away the folding chairs. Averie and Kenzie helped their mom package all the leftovers and straightened up the house. Keeva talked to the last of the guests and saw them out.
After all the cleanup was done, Keeva and I were left in the backyard by ourselves.
“Did you have a good time at your party?” I asked.
“I did. I got so many cards and gifts. Your gift was the best, though. I didn’t think you remembered me liking that outfit in the mall,” she smiled.
“I did. I went back and got it the next day.”
“Thank you, Reem,” she said before leaning in and placing a quick peck on my lips.
“I have something else I wanted to give you, but I wanted to wait until we were alone.”
“Reem…” she giggled.
“No, not that. I mean well yes that too, but it’s something else.”
I reached into my pocket and got down on one knee.
“Keeva Marie Patterson, I know we are young, but I’ve known that I loved you for a long time. This is not an engagement ring, yet. It’s a promise ring. I promise that I will replace this with an engagement ring that you deserve. I promise to always be loyal and true to you. I promise to never hurt you. I want you to be my wife, but let’s live and kick it in college before we take that step. Will you promise to be my wife in the future?”
