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This whole conversation felt like an out of body experience. It felt like this should be someone else’s life and not mine. There was a hollowness in my chest that felt heavy at the same time. I wanted to lie back down in the bed and sleep until this whole situation was resolved.
“I will come back to collect my things. Let me know when it’s a good time for me to do that, okay?”
“How do you know that I will wait for you? Why do you deserve time to get yourself together?” I felt the anger rising again. I thought I was going to get through this conversation without flipping out, but I could feel it coming on. “I’m trying to be cool around you, Reem, I really am, but you seem to have all the answers, but no answers at the same damn time. Space and a bachelor’s pad is what you think you need to figure things out? Or do you need space to fuck other females?”
“Why does every conversation have to go in this direction!” Kerem yelled.
“Because you fucked up, that’s why! I don’t have to give you space. I don’t have to agree to let you stay in the property that WE own. I don’t have to sit here like a good little wife and wait until my cheating ass husband figures shit out! I don’t have to do any of those things because you don’t deserve shit from me! You snatch my muthafuckin’ heart out of my chest and leave me to bleed out while you go play bachelor? Hell naw!”
“You would rather me keep burning through money in the hotel?”
“Oh, we want to talk about what I would rather? How about I would rather that you would’ve kept your dick in your pants and sent Tara on her way. I would rather that I don’t have to suffer through this humiliating process of people knowing that my husband cheated on me! I would rather that I would have married a man that could stay faithful. I would rather that I didn’t waste the last twenty-two years of my life on a dud!”
“Key, calm down, and think about your words. You know you can’t take shit back.”
“I need to think? You’re telling me to think! Ain’t this ‘bout a bitch. Kerem get your shit and get out.”
“Nothing is ever going to be resolved if all we do is yell at each other.”
“Resolve the fuck out of my face, how about that? Bye, Kerem.”
7
“Then he said some bull about never resolving anything if we yell at each other! I was over that whole conversation and told him to get out. Just being in his presence pisses me off!”
After the wedding planning meeting at my mother’s house, I met up with Robin at our favorite restaurant for appetizers and drinks.
“Did he leave?” Robin asked.
“Yeah, he left.”
“How did you feel after he left?”
“Sick to my stomach again, and it wasn’t the hangover. It feels like I’ve spent my entire life building this perfect house of cards with Kerem. Then one day he came by and kicked it all over.”
“It doesn’t have to be over, Key. You can rebuild. Not to sound like I’m taking sides because I’m not…but…I said, “but,” because I don’t know another word that would help me transition to my next statement…”
“Just spit it out, Bird!”
“Okay, I think it was adorable and thoughtful of Reem to send flowers to the shop. I also think it took a lot of courage for him to show up at your house and take care of you. Not only did he come by, but he spent the night to make sure you were okay after your wild night of drinking. To me, that sounds like a man that wants his wife and is learning from his mistake.”
“What are you saying?”
“I just wonder…never mind,” she stalled.
“Grinch if you don’t just speak plainly, I am going to throw this drink at you,Love and Hip Hopstyle!”
She slid my drink closer to her. I let her move it because I was too busy feeling a ton of anxiety waiting for her next words.
“Okay,” she took a deep breath, then continued, “I just wonder if you’ve ever thought about the role you may have played in all of this,” she rushed out.
I threw my head back, feeling like her words had slapped me in the face.
“My role?”
“Hear me out before you try to fight me like you did Reem…”
I took a deep breath because she was skating on fragile ice. I watched her formulating her next words in her mind before she spoke.
