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“What about her? I don’t owe her anything. She made her choice when she stayed in LA.”
“Even if we said that we were a possibility, it couldn’t happen right now. We would be each other’s rebound. We would need to get our previous relationships out of our systems before we could try to be together. As horny as I am, and despite your excellent kissing skills, I can’t do this. I have to leave. I will call an Uber.”
“No, Key. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I will take you back to the hotel if you are ready to go,” Kenny said.
“I am.”
I stood from the couch and walked to the door.
As pissed off at Kerem as I was, I realized in that moment that I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. I didn’t want someone else; I wanted my husband.
* * *
Before we all got on the plane headed back home, Vivian pulled me to the side.
“How was your evening?” she whispered.
I looked at her for a moment before answering.
“It was…interesting.”
She tilted her head and looked at me.
“Nothing happened beyond a kiss which I stopped,” I finished.
“Oh, good,” she smiled.
“How did you know to ask me that?”
“Just a feeling. I know how you feel and what you’re going through. A little bit of attention could go a very long way, friend or not,” Vivian said.
“Yeah, he almost got it last night, I ain’t gone even lie. It’s been a minute, and Ms. Lucy,” I pointed between my legs, “almost told me to shut my butt up and enjoy it,” I giggled.
“I used to call her Ms. Lucy too!” Vivian laughed. “What stopped you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I realized that I was in love with my dumb ass husband. I also realized that I was not and didn’t want to ever be in love with Kenny. I love him as a friend, but I don’t want him.”
“Good. I’m happy to hear that. So look, since you’ve realized that you love your husband, then give him another chance. Don’t feel like you have to punish him for the bad decision that he made. Life will make sure he gets his just desserts. Remember that if you do something to him trying to get revenge, that thing will come back to you. It’s the law of the harvest. Whatever you sow is what you will reap. Sow good things to him. Kill him with kindness. Plant kindness so that kindness comes back to you.”
“I had been planting kindness and doing right by him. He still cheated,” I explained.
“Sometimes, things that happen to us are not in direct response to something that we’ve done. Sometimes, things happen due to no fault of our own, but that very thing that looked like it was going to destroy you, will be the thing you use as a stepping stone to your greatness. I was so in love with Samuel’s father, Reggie. One day he was in my life and the next he was gone. Disappeared without a trace. I kept wondering what I’d done in my life to deserve such treatment. I knew he loved me, or at least I thought he did. So why did he just up and leave me like that? I cried on my mother’s lap for days. She let me cry then she gave me some of the best advice I’d ever heard. She said men are stupid. They are only as smart as the woman standing next to them. When we leave them to their own devices, they make terrible choices. Then we as women sit around wondering what we did to them for them to make that choice. The answer is nothing. We didn’t do anything. They tried something on their own, and after they did it, they realized that they should’ve asked a woman.
She told me that I should love Reggie, but move on with my life. Give him the chance to tell me and show me that he’d made a mistake. I didn’t do that, though. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me so when he came back to tell me he was sorry and that he’d made a mistake, I didn’t tell him about Samuel. Samuel didn’t meet Reggie through me. He met Reggie in jail. I didn’t listen to my mother and tried to get revenge. It almost cost me two men that I love. I’m blessed they both forgave me but listen to that advice. Your husband made a decision without you, and it was the wrong one. Give him a chance to show you and tell you where he messed up. Then you forgive him and move forward. It will be so worth it in the end.”
“Are you and Reggie still a thing?” I asked.
“Put it like this, I told Reggie that when he gets out of jail, his first stop should be my house,” she laughed.
“Alright, now!”
We high fived.
“Thanks, Vivian. I will try to listen to your mother’s advice.”
“Yes, and hey, don’t hold nothing in. If you’re happy one minute and want to slap him the next, then that’s your prerogative, but all of that is necessary to get to your point of healing. Do what makes you feel good.”
“Been there done that with the slaps,” I chuckled.
