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Chapter 26
Olivia sighed heavily as she led the horse to a trot in Hyde Park. She gazed back at Lucy, who was on the smallest, most docile horse they had, riding next to the groom who was chaperoning them. Raja was perfect for a beginner, but Lucy was coming along nicely and did not need much assistance at all now she had gained her confidence.
“Would you care for a break?” Olivia called over her shoulder. “We can tether the horses and sit down by the riverbank.”
Lucy smiled. “That would be lovely, my lady.”
They dismounted, securing the horses to a tree, before sitting down on the edge of the river. It was a beautiful day, with the sun peeking through the tree branches, making dappled light on the grass. The Serpentine river was sparkling. Olivia watched an elegant white swan drift by, followed by four grey cygnets, all in a line.
“I love swans,” said Lucy, smiling at the birds. “Did you know that they mate for life?”
“Really?” asked Olivia, gazing at the swan. “How utterly lovely. Why, it is like a marriage!” Her gaze turned wistful. “It is very romantic.”
“Indeed,” said Lucy, sighing. “I hope I shall one day have a love match like that. But my brother gets mad at me when I say such things, telling me I am far too young to think of marriage yet.”
Olivia’s heart started beating erratically as she thought about Lucy’s brother and that scorching encounter in the carriage with him. She had not been able to get it out of her mind at all. Sometimes, she would close her eyes and feel his mouth on her nipple again, causing those outrageous sensations to pulse through her body.
Against her will, she had been wanting to see him again. Every knock on the front door sent her pulse racing, thinking it might be him. But it never was. In the week since that ball, she had not seen him once.
Her eyes filled with helpless tears. He was avoiding her, which was the proper thing to do. She hadtoldhim that they should ignore each other. He was giving her exactly what she had asked for. But it was not making her happy. In fact, it was filling her with torment.
Bertie had been just as attentive as always, sending her flowers, asking her to go on walks. But she was so distracted by the thought of Captain Fletcher that it was not giving her the pleasure it should, and she was feeling so terribly guilty about somehow deceiving Bertie, as well.er mother had noticed her strange mood, questioning her about it, but Olivia had shaken off her questions.
Emma had noticed, too, but had not asked her anything. Did her dear friend suspect what was happening? But then, how could she? Everyone thought she despised Captain Fletcher.
They certainly would not have any idea that she was secretly dreaming of the man, nor that he had taken such liberties with her. It was her closely guarded secret. But she did not know how much longer she could go on without blurting it to someone. She needed advice.
“How is your brother?” asked Olivia, trying to sound as casual as possible. She picked a small daisy, tearing at the petals, one by one.
He loves me… he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not.
“I do not know,” replied Lucy, frowning slightly. “He left for Cornwall a week ago, saying he needed to speak to a man about business.”
“Cornwall?” Olivia’s voice was sharper than she intended. “He is away?”
Lucy nodded. “Yes. It was quite abrupt. We had no idea he was intending to go away. The day after that ball he attended he suddenly informed us and left that very day.”
Olivia’s heart plummeted. So, he had left London entirely. Had what happened in that carriage swayed his decision? Had he fled the city to escape seeing her after taking such liberties?
Her heart filled with sorrow and shame. She knew she had been foolish in the extreme, but now, she felt like the biggest fool to have ever walked the earth. A decent man would have called and reassured her after what they had done together, but not him. He had fled the entire city to escape any consequences of his behaviour.
Her eyes stung with tears again. She only had herself to blame. She could have pushed him away at the start, slapped his face, ordered him out of the carriage. But she had not. She had let him kiss her and the rest and she had enjoyed it. She was a wild, wicked woman. And Captain Fletcher was a cad, exactly as she had always thought he was.
A leopard never changes its spots.
Angrily, she threw the daisy away. This was good. It meant that she could focus on Bertie and dismiss the Captain entirely. Not that she had ever been seriously considering him, of course. Even if he had consumed her dreams and made her feel things she had never felt before and probably never would with Bertie.
At least Bertie is a proper gentleman. At least he treats me well. He will give me a good life that would never be possible with a man like Captain Fletcher.
Her heart trembled. She pushed away the thought that she did not quite love Bertie the way she had always imagined she would love her husband. She had wanted fire and passion and there was none of that at all. He was attentive, kind, and generous, though. And marrying him would make sure that she did not end up marrying Captain Fletcher.
Imagine being married to him. Imagine kissing him and doing other things with him. Imagine sleeping next to him and waking up beside him.
Fiercely, she pushed the treacherous thought out of her mind. He did not want to marry her. He was just playing with her. And she did not want to marry him, either. At least, she had thought she did not. Now, with the way he was making her feel, she was not quite so sure any longer. Her mind was so confused.
She could not be falling in love with him…could she?
Abruptly, she jumped to her feet. Lucy looked startled.
