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Alexander took a deep breath, addressing her grandfather. He did not look at her at all. The anger that had taken possession of her solidified. She felt sick to her stomach.Hehad been the one who had insisted on this marriage, and he had almost left her standing at the altar.
“A wheel came off the carriage,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “The driver could not find the bolt and it was taking an age to fix. In the end, I grabbed a horse and rode here.”
The Earl shook his head incredulously. “Well, all is well that ends well,” he said. “You are here now. Are you quite composed enough for us to begin?”
Alexander nodded. For the first time, his eyes focused on Olivia. They widened in admiration as he beheld her. And something else that had been well-contained recently. Desire.
“I am sorry,” he said slowly. “Truly, I am.”
Olivia could not speak. Her heart was racing erratically. Everyone in the church had turned, watching the exchange. The church was deathly silent. Here she was, standing in her expensive silver silk and lace wedding gown with meticulously embroidered flowers and a long netted veil hanging from a garland of red roses on her head, looking like a fool.
She nodded curtly. She supposed she could not stay mad when there had been an accident. And he had done his best to get here as quickly as possible after the fact. But still, it was a sour note upon which to begin their marriage. She felt a shiver go down her spine. Was it an omen?
He raced down the aisle, taking his place at the altar. The blare of the organ sounded in the silence. Grandpapa took her arm, leaning into her, whispering into her ear.
“Are you quite well, my dear?” he asked, his eyes filled with concern. “Ready to continue? Accidents happen. It was unfortunate that it delayed proceedings, but all will be well.”
Olivia’s eyes filled with tears. She wanted to put her arms around his neck, like she had when she was a little girl. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong about this—that it was not the love match he imagined. That Captain Alexander Fletcher might desire her and care for her a little bit, but he certainly did not love her in the way she craved. He did not love her in the way she had always imagined her husband would love her.
Most of all, she wanted her grandfather to take control, and realise that this was a mistake. She almost wished Alexander had not arrived when he had. If he had been five minutes later, she would have been gone. The wedding would have been called off, and no one would have blamed her for it.
She took a deep, ragged breath. But he had arrived. Dishevelled, but he was here. The wedding was going ahead. Unless she told her grandfather this second that she could not do it.
Her grandfather was gazing at her steadily. “Olivia?”
She nodded. “I am ready.”
Her heart contorted to see the smile of relief on his face. They started walking slowly down the aisle. Olivia gazed at her mother, sitting in the front pew. Lady Henrietta’s eyes were swimming with tears of pride and love. She blew her daughter a kiss.
Her eyes turned to the other pew at the front, where Lucy and their aunt sat. The girl’s eyes were wide with joy and admiration as she gazed upon the bride. Olivia’s gaze softened and she smiled slightly. Dearest Lucy... She was deliriously happy about this marriage. At least she would be gaining a sister through this union. That was something.
And then, she arrived at the altar. She gave her bouquet to Emma, then turned and faced her husband to be, taking his outstretched hands.
He leaned over, whispering in her ear. “You look beautiful.” His eyes were shining with admiration and desire.
She blushed, her heart flipping over in her chest. She had dreamt of this moment. It was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life. But even though she could clearly see hedidadmire her and desire her, there was something missing in his intense blue eyes.
Love.
He did not love her. It simply was not there. He was about to become her husband. This was for life. It was forever. How could she marry a man who did not love her?
She had almost married Bertie, knowing that she did not love him, not in the way she wanted to. In one way that would have been easier than this. Because Olivia realised that shedidlove the man standing opposite her. It was inexplicable, but there it was.
It was not just desire for him, even though that was powerful. It was much more than that. And now she must spend her life beside him, loving him, without him ever loving her. It would be a unique sort of torture.
Better to have married a man she did not love than this.
The music ended. There was a rustle through the congregation. A muffled cough. A soft intake of breath.
The vicar stepped forward. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”
The elderly man’s voice faded in and out. She could see his lips moving but she could not hear a word that was being said. She felt faint. And then, she was conscious that when this day was over, the night would come.
When they signed the register, and were officially man and wife, she started to shake. Their marriage had started. For better or worse. Until death did they part.
