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Chapter 23
Laura ran outside to the garden, mortified. It had happened again, and this time was more delicious than the first. For the first time, she understood what rapture was. She could feel Edward intensely through his trousers, something that Laura had heard about but never experienced herself.
Edward was a large man that much was sure. It frightened her but filled her with excitement at the same time. No matter what, Laura sensed that Edward would tend to her needs every step of the way.
Outside, the air was cool, and Frederick was trimming a hedge. There was no way that Laura could talk to him now. She walked by him quickly and tried to keep her breathing steady.
“Are you coming to help me?” Frederick asked.
“I was merely in the mood for a good, brisk walk.”
“Very well.” Frederick looked confused and shrugged his shoulders.
Laura kept walking. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, and she shook her head in dismay. Edward expressed his desire to go further, and Laura had to admit that she wanted the same, but it was an impossibility.
Even though Laura was a lowly maid, she still had her honour intact and couldn’t relinquish that to a man that had no intention to marry her. She would give herself to him, and then become his mistress, watching as he married Anna and had several children. It would all be too much to bear over time, and Laura would not subject herself to it.
Once she was far enough out in the field, Laura paused and took one long, deep breath. She seated herself in the grass, then fell on her back and looked up at the cloudy sky. Like every intimate encounter she had with Edward, none of them seemed to be real. Her head would spin, the world would spin, and once she departed, everything had a dreamy haze. Birds flew in the sky overhead, and Laura marvelled at their perfect order. Their peacefulness. Laura wished that she had that perfect order and peace because inside, everything felt like chaos.
Laura didn’t know how long she lay there before she heard footsteps in the grass. No doubt, it was Harrison coming to find her. When she looked up, she saw the last person she’d expected. It was Edward. “My God.” She quickly got up off the grass and stood.
Edward smiled. “You have grass in your hair.” He reached out and took the small piece.
“How did you find me?”
“I figured that you had come into the garden. Frederick pointed me in the right direction.”
“I’m sorry. I just needed air. I hope Harrison isn’t cross with me.”
“Harrison works for me.”
Gazing into Edward’s eyes, Laura delighted in his handsomeness. Every time that he kissed her, Edward became more dashing in her eyes.
“I didn’t mean to run like that I …”
Edward put up a hand to silence her. “I stepped out of my bounds yet again. I hope you understand, Laura. I wish to honour and respect you at all times. Physical instinct made it very difficult …”
“Again, you don’t have to explain. I felt the same urges. I wanted everything that you wanted.”
Edward smiled. He placed a hand on Laura’s cheek, and she reached up to put her own hand over it. His touch was tender and warm. That’s what made the physical attraction so unbearable. Edward was tender and warm in his longing, as well. It made it all the more difficult to resist him.
“I promise I’ll never kiss you again unless you ask me.”
“I’d be afraid to ask,” Laura replied.
“Fine, then go ahead and beg me.” Both Edward and Laura shared a laugh. Although Laura could never imagine herself begging for a kiss, she could foresee that happening one day when it came to Edward. There was so much about him that she could beg for.
“Can we return to the estate?” Laura asked.
“Yes. I’ll be proud to walk by your side.”
As they returned, their pace was relaxed and amusing, almost like that morning where they walked along, Laura reading Shakespeare. Edward was the perfect gentleman, and she knew that he wasn’t merely doing that for show. As he walked, his bearing was erect, and his hands were grasped behind his back, just as Laura had seen gentlemen do when walking with society ladies. Oh, the way that he made her feel. Laura had never been made to feel more wonderful by anybody in all her life.
The walk was not long, but during it, the weather was discussed, poetry, what Edward’s favourite dishes out of the kitchen were; things that seemed mundane, but both Laura and Edward delighted in what the other had to say. The conversation was relaxed and oddly intimate at the same time. Once they made it to the garden, Laura could see that Frederick was no longer outside.
“I hope that he is all right.”
“I sent him inside to have a cup of tea. Frederick works too hard.”
