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Chapter 29
Laura was on the verge of giving Edward everything. Her body and her soul. It frightened her. Although she was in complete rapture, wanting nothing more than to be in this position, she pulled away, gasping for air.
“I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize.” Edward brought a hand to her cheek.
“No, I … I can’t do this.” Laura rolled out from under him and sat up on the bed, holding her head in her hands. “We can’t do this.”
“We can.” Edward brought a hand to her back.
“Even if we love one another, we can’t carry on this way. You need to marry a woman of means. I have nothing. I’m merely a maid. Your brother is squandering his life away, and you need a woman that will add wealth to the Pembroke name.” Laura hated having to say the words. She almost wished that she could take them back; they felt so vile in her mouth.
“I’m no longer interested in my name. I’m interested in your love.”
Laura turned to him. She could see the anguish in his eyes. “You’ll always have my love. But if we carry on like this, we’re living a lie. This can’t continue.” Laura got up, followed by Edward, seating himself on the edge of the bed. She wished for nothing more than to go to him and reassure him. Laura wanted to hold him and tell him that their dream could be a reality, but it just wasn’t so.
“Please, don’t do this, Laura.”
She clutched her stomach, feeling ill. “I detest this as much as you do. I wish we were free.”
“We are free.”
“No.” Laura shook her head. “We’re not. Society won’t let us be free.”
Edward fell silent, looking out the window. He smiled to himself. “Here I have you in the one place I’ve always dreamed of having you, and this is what you say.”
“I’ve always dreamed of being here, as well. I’ve longed for nothing more.”
“Then let’s please cease to speak.”
“But we must. There is honesty and truth in love. I feel that more than I’ve ever felt it before. And we must speak that truth.”
Laura stood frozen. She felt like weeping. Was there any anguish as great as what she was feeling at that moment? The thought of never seeing Edward again pained her as much as the thought of seeing him wed another. There was no easy way to traverse their circumstances. No matter what path she chose, there would be suffering.
Both remained silent as Laura’s words clung to the air. What was she to do next? There was still a chance that she could return to that bed and throw herself into Edward’s arms one last time. Or perhaps even forever. But it must not be so. Laura would choose the course that she knew was right. It was the course that would save them both.
***
Edward was beside himself. He felt ill but couldn’t move. How could the situation be amended? He could merely tell Laura that there was no chance he’d abide by what she was saying. He could profess his love again, but it seemed that in the present situation, love wasn’t enough. Everything Laura said held truth, but it was a truth that Edward didn’t wish to face. There would be no life without her; Edward knew that much to be true.
“Sit beside me,” he said.
Laura shook her head. “I’m going.”
“Laura, I beg of you!” Edward stood up, fully willing to grab hold of her once more to prevent her leaving. And even though he could do that, Edward didn’t wish to play the tyrant. Laura had free will and would always have.
She turned back to him. “I would like to return to Sage Brook.”
“That can’t be true.”
“We will not be out of one another’s lives. We can see each other from a distance.”
“Any distance between us is too much. Please understand that.”
“I do.” Laura looked to the floor once more. “But I think this will be easier for both of us.”
Edward swallowed down the knot in his throat. “If that is what you wish, to return to Sage Brook, I can make arrangements.”
